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rebelangelv
Senior Member

since 2007-05-28

Posts 538
usa

0 posted 2008-03-03 09:41 PM

k ppls this is a rap obviously...lol the title...well does n e 1 have n e better ideas??? n e who it needs editing, G Stylz ( hahaha hes soooo dang goood man luv ya bro!!) is hopefully gunna help me with it...maybe..if i ask nicely lol so yea...critque but be nice

cuz it aint done.. lol

i feel a change
growing very deep inside
im not sure what is happeing
but i need to find out why

this feeling is of freedom
its conquering all my fears
its making me feel loved
and drying out my tears

a feeling of safety during the night
darkness no longer rules
my eye are looking towards the light

i think i know where this is coming from
its because of jesus christ
and since i gave my all to him
hes been changing my whole life

you may not understand it
you might be blind to see
but this man that i call savior
has made me blood bought free

this little baby boy was born
he came to earth to die
what kind of life is that u may ask
so let me tell you why

no sin can enter heaven
for it is a perfect place
but theres only one way to get in
and its something one cant chase

mankind is not perfect
and never will be
but God loves us so much
that he just had to set us free

he sent his only son
to pay our price for sin
so that we may have the choice
to be with Him once again

now we have the decision
to follow Him our Lord
or we can follow our imperfect flesh
but what would we want to do that for?

its a relationship
it aint no religion
its not any ritual
its a heart's decision

jesus was my friend
from the begining of time
he is part of who i am
but i just pushed Him aside

ever since i decided
to get closer to my Lord
this happiness spread through me
and i will never take it for ganted.

only a vampire can love you forever.
forbidden to remember, terrified to forget

rebelangelv
Senior Member

since 2007-05-28

Posts 538
usa

1 posted 2008-03-03 09:42 PM

O BTW THE 3RD STANZA....is just the fragments of my blonde thinking...so ....ne ideas?? i dont wanna just cut it but im stuck...

only a vampire can love you forever.
forbidden to remember, terrified to forget

Earl Robertson
Senior Member

since 2008-01-21

Posts 753
BC, Canada

2 posted 2008-03-03 10:57 PM

OK this is great. I listen to allot of this kind of stuff, both parody and serious, in music form and your lyrics look exelent.

But not rap like. You need to take what you have, and put it into the lingo. You know, 'strict' rap flow. Try acctualy rapping this and every time you get somthing that doesn't sound right, change it! Most of it is just dropping the g in ing, and simple stuff like that and it's ALL flow stuff!

Exelent start! Keep up the good work! (I'll be keeping tabs on this one!)

"Be Strong and Always Remember what made you you." Earl

"Ooo!!! Ooo!! I know! I know! um...he he" Earl
(Yes I am crazy)

justanotherstorm
Member

since 2007-10-24

Posts 321

3 posted 2008-03-04 08:18 PM

thats a rap u kinda need to work on that

Falling rain

Member Elite

since 2008-01-31

Posts 2178
Small town, Illinois

4 posted 2008-03-04 08:36 PM

GREAT WORK!!!!! i like the topic you wrote about. i am a christian as-well (if you didnt notice that lol) the rap on the otherhand is a little off. try to keep the flow going. if you need help on the flow just say it out loud to yourself. try rapping it out to yourself. some of it i thought was a little choppy and messed up. but great work!!!!

~Zach~

hiddensmiles
Senior Member

since 2008-02-07

Posts 514
at the beach... i wish

5 posted 2008-03-04 08:50 PM

good work...really enjoyed!! i like the topic as well

rebelangelv
Senior Member

since 2007-05-28

Posts 538
usa

6 posted 2008-03-04 09:36 PM

hey everyone, yea i know this wasnt real great but like i said its still a work in progress and ima get some help on it. ur advice is very useful so thank u to everyone.

earl: yea i have it written like that on my computer but i wanted to attempt to be gramatically correct on here lol. but yea thanx a lot ill use wut u told me

justanotherstorm: no duh

hidden smiles: thanks

zack, haha no i didnt know that but its great to hear it

yea...the beat has already been made, its fast and fun...gunna try to post it on youtube soon...maybe lol but yea i know and thanks a lot!

ummm yea everyone thank u all muah!

only a vampire can love you forever.
forbidden to remember, terrified to forget

Falling rain

Member Elite

since 2008-01-31

Posts 2178
Small town, Illinois

7 posted 2008-03-04 10:03 PM

sweet when it goes on youtube please tell me. i'd really appreteate to listen to it. I can't wait!!!