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Teen Poetry #8
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City of Fallen Angels
| Teen Poetry #8 |
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City of Fallen Angels |
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Falling rain
since 2008-01-31
Posts 2178Small town, Illinois 
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The city of Fallen angels.. My so called home I know i belong in this quiet,lonely place But i wish i can return home in the sky But these tattored wings Can fly no more And my blackened heart Feels no love I hide in the shadows Afraid of what will happen if i step out into the light The rubble of fallen buildings lay at my feet The smoke in the air Blocks out the sun And the wind, blows no more I long for the sky but i cant fly no more... ------------------------------------------ This isnt a poem really im just writing things down without rhymeing. ~Zach~ |
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| © Copyright 2008 Zach Booker-Scott - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Earl Robertson Senior Member
since 2008-01-21
Posts 753BC, Canada |
Hmmm good flow, great meaning, great imagary, exelent sub text...and lots of it...what does that sound like to you Earl? Oh yeah...A POEM!!!! And a good one! Never sell yourself short Zach this stuff is Awsome and as of right now inside a certain drama geeks library! "Be Strong and Always Remember what made you you." Earl |
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Lordadon Junior Member
since 2008-02-14
Posts 18Singapore |
reminds me of a scene after a war, and survivors, but anyway great job, made me feel a tinge on my skin. |
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surf_painter Member
since 2007-04-10
Posts 434Canada |
Even though I thought it didn't flow as nicely as it could I still liked it and they what meaning I got from it |
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effjayel Senior Member
since 2007-09-30
Posts 1474At the Crossroads of Infinity |
Zach You are continuing to improve & this is very good, not everything has to rhyme for the reader to get the message.. Well played & keep posting John |
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Falling rain
since 2008-01-31
Posts 2178Small town, Illinois |
Lordadon that was what i was thinking of too when i wrote this. Have you ever seen the music video of "Broken by Seether feat Amy Lee"? If you have than you'd understand what the messege in my poem is about. |
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RenaissanceRomanceRunsRed Senior Member
since 2007-06-11
Posts 1062In Love <3 |
oh not broken!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! oh man, one of my exboyfriends well that was our song. ohhhh the poem is ruined for me- and i liked it so much . . . . . -Kate and in the daylight i miss the nightmare- but deathly fear it in the dark of night |
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Lordadon Junior Member
since 2008-02-14
Posts 18Singapore |
well, i didnt watch that before, but this poem kinda made me picture it, kind of a sad scene i would say. |
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Abbeon Member
since 2006-11-30
Posts 228Curiousity, and wonder |
Pardon me. Sorry sir but, as I well advocate poems don’t have to rhyme. Or even make sense or anything like that. And I love this poem twice as much because of that (truly.) You are really talented and your writing will only grow farther because you are. (Sorry if I seem harsh! I do not mean to!!) Abbeon. (sorry if i startelled you!) The hollow emptiness, the crazed thoughts left to survive |
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Falling rain
since 2008-01-31
Posts 2178Small town, Illinois |
oh im sorry kate to make that comment ruin my poem. if i'd knew i wouldn't have said it. but i appretate u reading it.  ~Zach~ |
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crimsonXnails Member
since 2008-02-10
Posts 108dark/little/heavan.:*:. |
hey hey, Zach, that's so amazing!!! ur poem reminded me of "broken" too!!! it is amazing. i deffinatly agree with earl, don't sell ur self short. u rock!!!:p !Tracey! if you can touch me, i know i'm still only dying |
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RenaissanceRomanceRunsRed Senior Member
since 2007-06-11
Posts 1062In Love <3 |
o hit's okay- it was just so beautiful- i love it. really, i just it now has good and painful memories tied to it- and you didn't know- thanks though, that is so sweet of you to say. -Kate and in the daylight i miss the nightmare- but deathly fear it in the dark of night |
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Falling rain
since 2008-01-31
Posts 2178Small town, Illinois |
lol thanks. ~Zach~ |
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