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Teen Poetry #8
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Earl Robertson
Senior Member
since 2008-01-21
Posts 753
BC, Canada

0 posted 2008-02-13 11:46 PM


The Apple


I hold an apple in my palm
The sunlight in my hair
Examining with tender care
And trying to stay calm

I see it sweetly glisten there
Dark red and sweet to see
Apple from an unknown tree
This sunlight says beware

Could be the sweetest taste
Could be poison lurks within
This is a tangled web I’m in
With all my steps retraced

I feel the perfection of its skin
My choice it does prolong
And yet, it somehow smells so wrong
The apple’s essence therein

Men have died for freedom dear
Bloody wars have fought
With this apple in my hand
I almost wish it not

I hold this apple in my palm
As the sunlight’s warming voice
Tells me of such perilous choice
I hold the apple in my palm


And kiss it with my lips…

"Be Strong and Always Remember what made you you." Earl

"Ooo!!! Ooo!! I know! I know! um...he he" Earl
(Yes I am crazy)

© Copyright 2008 Frank Robertson - All Rights Reserved
Falling rain
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2008-01-31
Posts 2178
Small town, Illinois
1 posted 2008-02-14 07:56 AM


this reminds me of the apple from snow white. this is a good poem. i like it alot!
RenaissanceRomanceRunsRed
Senior Member
since 2007-06-11
Posts 1062
In Love <3
2 posted 2008-02-14 04:58 PM


beautiful- what a great pattern and flow nice improvements frank- very nice.

-Kate

and in the daylight i miss the nightmare- but deathly fear it in the dark of night

young_blood
Senior Member
since 2003-09-19
Posts 1115
Indianapolis, IN
3 posted 2008-02-14 05:54 PM


well done with the description. It was quite lovely and you used rhyme quite effectively. The only thing that I would check is the syllable count. Sometimes it was way off and effected flow. Overall, it was great though.
Lordadon
Junior Member
since 2008-02-14
Posts 18
Singapore
4 posted 2008-02-15 03:36 AM


Gives me a eccentric feeling i dont usually feel about after i read poems, great job though!
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