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lovesmilitary27
New Member

since 2008-02-04

Posts 1

0 posted 2008-02-04 01:33 PM

You are told you are smart for your age,
Yet you make more fatal mistakes,
And everyone thinks your strange.

Ever wish you could take back what you said?
Take two steps forward,
Only to be pushed back on this path you constantly tread.

Open your eyes,
You stand alone,
While everyone around you tries.

Listen with more that your ears,
It seems so intoxicating,
Like you’ve had too many beers.

You don’t actually taste your food,
You are clothed,
But why do you feel so nude?

You don’t want to feel
Yours and others pain,
Your thoughts turn like a giant wheel.

What do you smell?
Or do you even take notice
Of the place to which you have fell?

Your senses are starting to fade,
One day you might come back
To face the mess you have made.

If your sight comes back
Look to the place where
You couldn’t see your life was going off track.

Maybe you shouldn’t feel again,
It might make more problems,
Than the words coming from your pen.

You seem like a new born pup,
So much to learn
And you have to wake up.

Sight
Scent
Hear
Smell
FEEL

WAKE UP!

Falling rain

Member Elite

since 2008-01-31

Posts 2178
Small town, Illinois

1 posted 2008-02-04 05:37 PM

this is really good lovesmilitary27. I like this poem and some of this i can relate to. great job! are you new here? on PIP?

XxForever.BrokenxX
Senior Member

since 2008-01-20

Posts 891
Neverland

2 posted 2008-02-04 05:40 PM

I know what you're talking about here. I can understand..a little. I think just the way that you had the stanza's confused me. It made the sentences more choppy. But either than that I love it. Great job, and welcome to passions! hope to see more from you!

FoReVeR.BrOkEn

hunnie_girl

Member Elite

since 2006-06-18

Posts 2567
Canada

3 posted 2008-02-05 02:05 AM

Ever wish you could take back what you said?

ohhhh how many times I have.... Loved this poem
Welcome to Passions and I hope to read more soon!!!
Krysti

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