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Teen Poetry #8
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fromme2U
Member
since 2007-11-09
Posts 257


0 posted 2008-01-21 03:32 PM


Alone behind closed doors my life transforms,
Where I cry a thousand storms.
I unmask my happiness,
Plus unlock my heart from love’s abstinence.
I painfully carry the words to my lips,
“I am sorry” each word slowly drips..
I told you my heart is now cold.
Because my true feelings I couldn’t unfold.
I slowly closed my eyes to see the “you” that I knew
Smart, witty and charming this part of you is true.
But your deceiving lie shackled my pride with chains I cannot cut through.
I remember endless nights I laid by your side,
Holding whimpers with my fingers as I cried.
I wanted and tried for our relationship to work!
But my reflection looked back shamelessly with a smirk.
Forgiveness belongs to those who carry a heart of gold,
Forgiveness comes slowly this I have been told.
But the truth is I carry a heart of the poor,
Hoping to knock on the right trustworthy door and hurt never more.
You found in another,
A little unmeaning passionate smother,
While I loved you more than any other.
I wish I could forgive your mistake!
But the words would only be fake.
Disguise and shackles I will maintain,
Because you strayed on to a lover's lane
So now I must my heart retrain.


© Copyright 2008 NRomero - All Rights Reserved
rebelangelv
Senior Member
since 2007-05-28
Posts 538
usa
1 posted 2008-01-22 12:08 PM


wow i liked it. so many ppl could relate. this was nice good job :]

If i had to choose between you and breathing, id use my last breath to say "I love you"  

hunnie_girl
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2006-06-18
Posts 2567
Canada
2 posted 2008-01-23 12:32 PM


Wow lovely poem.. so beautifully written
Krysti

Clockwork_Orange
Senior Member
since 2007-03-23
Posts 620
Space Camp, IN
3 posted 2008-01-23 06:20 AM


i wrote a peom once that i never posted called behind closed doors. mine was very diffrent though. mine is about nikki sixx and his heroin addiction. i had just read The Dirt, all four members of motley crue actually wrote the biography of being super rock stars. it was gross though....some of the things that they did.
Ri
Member
since 2008-02-01
Posts 67
Blackburn, England
4 posted 2008-02-01 07:09 PM


Good choice of lexis here, and it's so easy to relate to, I can really feel the emotion in your words.
XxForever.BrokenxX
Senior Member
since 2008-01-20
Posts 891
Neverland
5 posted 2008-02-01 07:30 PM


....ok- ... I-....wow! i'm speachless! and I only read the first 3 lines so far!!! This is the most amazing poem...or part of a poem I've ever read. Not to offend Hunnie but this is way better than beautifully writen, they have yet to create a word that discrices this poem. ...wow! now if you'll excuse me I have a poem to finish reading!!

FoReVeR.BrOkEn

[This message has been edited by XxForever.BrokenxX (02-01-2008 08:53 PM).]

XxForever.BrokenxX
Senior Member
since 2008-01-20
Posts 891
Neverland
6 posted 2008-02-01 08:58 PM


yeah i know i could just add on to my other comment but i think u deserve more. I really felt the major emotion of this poem. Which by the way could be a song if it isn't already. The words just flow so perfectly, like an angle her/himself wrote it. That was outstanding, thank you for sharing with us.

FoReVeR.BrOkEn

RevengeIsMine
Senior Member
since 2006-07-08
Posts 820
Australia
7 posted 2008-02-01 10:52 PM


Great Poem.. Amazing.. Well Done

fromme2U
Member
since 2007-11-09
Posts 257

8 posted 2008-02-07 12:53 PM


THANK YOU!
Earl Robertson
Senior Member
since 2008-01-21
Posts 753
BC, Canada
9 posted 2008-02-07 01:20 PM


I have nothing to say...I'm speechless. Great poem!!!!

"Be Strong and Always Remember what made you you." Earl

"Ooo!!! Ooo!! I know! I know! um...he he" Earl
(Yes I am crazy)

RenaissanceRomanceRunsRed
Senior Member
since 2007-06-11
Posts 1062
In Love <3
10 posted 2008-02-07 02:07 PM


Disguise and shackles I will maintain,
Because you strayed on to a lover's lane

(i LOVED these lines)

wow, i usually don't read things in a one stanza form, but you always do so beauituflly.

-Kate

and in the daylight i miss the nightmare- but deathly fear it in the dark of night

ShawtySheFly
Member
since 2007-12-19
Posts 71
In his Elevator (LOL)
11 posted 2008-02-07 04:02 PM


Good job. . . i lik poetry lik this cuz it really makes a person think about life n the situations it brings. it's fly
fromme2U
Member
since 2007-11-09
Posts 257

12 posted 2008-02-08 01:35 PM


THANK YOU AGAIN!
SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
13 posted 2008-02-08 05:15 PM


fromme2u,
I have pulled your poem Depression three times in the last two days. CHECK YOUR EMAIL!!!

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