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Teen Poetry #8
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hunnie_girl
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2006-06-18
Posts 2567
Canada

0 posted 2007-12-27 11:40 PM


Well Guy one
He tells me he loves me
and he'll always be there
I tell him thats too bad
and that I dont really care

and Guy two
He says he'll be my world
and do everything I say
and whenever I ask
he'll be there to "play"

Guy three
He tells me I'm a tease
but thats ok with him
and he'll be just as happy
being my little whim

Guy four
says he'll be my sex slave
and that he wants me so bad
and that he loves being with me
'cos i'm the best he's ever had

Now guy five
he's where I messed up
the guy that stole my heart
and he wont let me love again
'cos he ripped it apart

No one can compare to him
so I just don't even try
'cos everytime I do
it always ends in good bye

© Copyright 2007 Krysti - All Rights Reserved
wolf girl
Member
since 2007-12-03
Posts 150
washington, US
1 posted 2007-12-28 01:52 AM


its an awsome write i love your work. i always read it.

^__^

-jenna

RenaissanceRomanceRunsRed
Senior Member
since 2007-06-11
Posts 1062
In Love <3
2 posted 2007-12-28 09:41 AM


awww, i'm sorry. i know that feeling and for now i'm just done with men, maybe in a few years i'll be ready for something more serious again but for now (b/c of something like your poem) i can't handle more than friendships.


-Kate

"I have no other but a woman's reason:
I think him so, because I think him so."

fromme2U
Member
since 2007-11-09
Posts 257

3 posted 2007-12-28 01:19 PM


I lliked it a lot.
LittleWillow
Member
since 2007-12-27
Posts 54

4 posted 2007-12-28 05:51 PM


Wow. This is great.

Well done. =]


xxx

Sweetpoet16m4u04
Member
since 2002-11-10
Posts 153
Ma, U.S.A
5 posted 2007-12-28 06:28 PM


I really liked this but keep your head up hun plenty of good guys still out there..they are just diamonds in the rough thats all lol!! Here if ya need someone to talk to!! Keep up the good work.

Chris

Assassin_of_Verse
Member
since 2007-10-23
Posts 330
that So Cal
6 posted 2008-01-27 03:31 AM


Finding that "perfect someone" is difficult. But don't give up! (If you stop counting the let downs, it'll be easier to heal the wounds.)

Your ryhme was shaky some parts and seemed forced overall. I felt a lot of emotion and I think that you could use that. I'm sorry for not suggesting ways to make it better. My minds not working at full capacity right now.

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