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*CaT*
Junior Member

since 2007-12-07

Posts 46
Oxford, England

0 posted 2007-12-07 01:08 PM

Unpredictable Happenings

As they embrace
Beneath the tree,
No one watching
Simply the breeze,
But they didn't feel it
Huddled close under that tree,
And then it happened
The sparks that flew off,
As the lovers reached for a touch.
The oak, leaves,
Watched as they saw
As two lonely strangers,
Strangers no more
Their hearts beating softly,
Softly but warm,
As the lovers drew breath
On that cold winter morn.

hunnie_girl

Member Elite

since 2006-06-18

Posts 2567
Canada

1 posted 2007-12-07 03:17 PM

Wow this was amazing Welcome to Passions hope you enjoy it heer

Krysti

Assassin_of_Verse
Member

since 2007-10-23

Posts 330
that So Cal

2 posted 2007-12-07 04:00 PM

Nice poem, better than my first post. (My first post? Wow! I feel so old!) Anyway, liked the way the words flowed, especially this verse:

"As two lonely strangers,
Strangers no more
Their hearts beating softly,
Softly but warm,"

And welcome to Passions!

We are each of us angels with only one wing. And we can only fly by embracing each other.
-Luciano De Creshenzo

An assassin-in-training shouldn't.

hunnie_girl

Member Elite

since 2006-06-18

Posts 2567
Canada

3 posted 2007-12-10 01:32 AM

U feel old Wow, haha you ain't seen nothing yet.... how do u think I feel my first post iz in the archives haha

Krysti

Assassin_of_Verse
Member

since 2007-10-23

Posts 330
that So Cal

4 posted 2007-12-10 01:55 AM

Um... Which section would that be? (Teen poetry... Dark Poetry... Open... So many too choose from...)

We are each of us angels with only one wing. And we can only fly by embracing each other.
-Luciano De Creshenzo

An assassin-in-training shouldn't.

*CaT*
Junior Member

since 2007-12-07

Posts 46
Oxford, England

5 posted 2007-12-10 12:20 PM

Thank you for your kind words. Wow, so how long have you been writing for?

Elias Nevermore
Member

since 2007-11-03

Posts 152

6 posted 2007-12-10 11:39 PM

hey great poem. i thoroughly enjoyed it. the connection between the two people could be felt by your words. Great flow, great rhyme scheme. i don't se anythig that yo would need to change.

Welcome to Passions

*CaT*
Junior Member

since 2007-12-07

Posts 46
Oxford, England

7 posted 2007-12-11 02:24 PM

thanx so much Elias. i really enjoyed writing it, its good to hear that other people like it 2

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