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navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #8 » Sorry If My Mind Slips
Teen Poetry #8
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Aflame
Junior Member
since 2007-10-06
Posts 11
0 posted 2007-11-24 10:57 PM


Sorry If My Mind Slips



Don¡¦t trust me wholly
¡¥Cause I can lie in front of
Your face without blinking.
This I¡¦m not lying.


Trust can be unbelievably
Heavy, like a sinking stone.
But I¡¦ve never really wanted to lie
To you.  This I¡¦m not lying.


Sometimes the promises I made
Just slip away, away, and away.
Like a shooting star burning
To its last in the thickening darkness.


Don¡¦t trust me wholly
¡¥Cause I might lie without knowing.
I¡¦m sorry if my mind slips.
This I¡¦m not lying.
© Copyright 2007 Sophia Sun - All Rights Reserved
surf_painter
Member
since 2007-04-10
Posts 434
Canada
1 posted 2007-11-28 09:56 AM

It has the beginnings of a good poem but it is still fairly rough and a little hard to read
Aflame
Junior Member
since 2007-10-06
Posts 11
2 posted 2007-12-09 02:47 AM

Thanks.  I'll rewrite it...or try to rewrite it.
Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080
Realm of Supernatural
3 posted 2007-12-10 10:09 PM

Enjoyed



ARCTIC WIND
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navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #8 » Sorry If My Mind Slips

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