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Teen Poetry #8
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hunnie_girl
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2006-06-18
Posts 2567
Canada

0 posted 2007-11-06 01:55 AM


Don't know why I still write about him seems I just like torturing myself haha oh well... tell me what y'all think of this one(even though all my poems seem to take on the same subject *sigh*


Anywhere But Here

It doesn't hurt until I hear his name
then I remember that nothings the same
dreaming of those nights I fell asleep in his arms
and the very first time I fell into his charms

All those times I ran my fingers through his hair
how many times I wished I was back there
I try so hard not to let go of my pride
but we could've made it through if he would've tried

If you happen to see him when the night draws near
what ever you do please don't tell him i'm here
All by myself drinking him away
don't let him know I've been here all day

It would only hurt him to know I turned out like this
thinking of him and everything that I miss
so if you see him tell him i'm better than you've ever seen
don't tell him the truth that it's the worst that i've been

tell him i'm shopping, letting go of the past
and that I never really thought we'd last
tell him i'm in love with someone who's crazy about me
don't let him wander to the possibility

that I just might be falling apart
ever since he broke my heart
and the truth is that I'm really not ok
I wonder if he knows our six months would've been today

So if you happen to see him as the night draws near
tell him I'm anywhere, anywhere but here.

© Copyright 2007 Krysti - All Rights Reserved
buttercupbaby
Member
since 2006-05-03
Posts 400
outside in the rain
1 posted 2007-11-06 07:26 PM


its ever so sad.
an i know the feeling.
it had good flow..
but some seem sorta forced..
but it might jus be the way i read it :/
anyways,
all of your poems are always AMAZING!

surf_painter
Member
since 2007-04-10
Posts 434
Canada
2 posted 2007-11-06 08:23 PM


wow it is sooo sad but so well written and i see why you keep writing about him lately becuase he is still on your mind and from personal experience my poems are my therapy just give it time, and if it helps the poems are wonderfeul and full of emotion
Assassin_of_Verse
Member
since 2007-10-23
Posts 330
that So Cal
3 posted 2007-11-08 09:03 PM


I agree with buttercupbaby, it does seem kind of forced, but when it comes to subjects like love, rejection, and other similar feelings, you have to just let it all out, no matter how forced it may seem. Then you go back and let out the creatvity flow, and it helps you improve as a poet.

In other words, great poem! Also, just because you're still writing about this subject, doesn't mean anything bad. It just means you still have something to say.

As assassin shouldn't fall in love.
-The lovestruck assassin

RenaissanceRomanceRunsRed
Senior Member
since 2007-06-11
Posts 1062
In Love <3
4 posted 2007-11-08 09:27 PM


"so if you see him tell him i'm better than you've ever seen
don't tell him the truth that it's the worst that i've been"

umm, how sweet and sad, all at the same time. oh hunnie, i've been where you are and it just plain sucks, plain and simple. i'm so sorry that life sucks, hope you can lift up your chin and walk away from this nightmare of life soon.

-Kate

"I thought I'd just mention in passing . . . I always wanted a Sparkly of my very own." -Jeremy The Crow

Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080
Realm of Supernatural
5 posted 2007-11-12 10:12 PM


Enjoyed

ARCTIC WIND

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