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Teen Poetry #8
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forever*wishing
Member
since 2006-05-29
Posts 178
where my heart is

0 posted 2007-10-23 08:04 PM



You say life is terrible,
There’s nothing to live for
But tell me exactly Hun,
What is so wrong?

Here is your air; here is your food, your water.
This is what you need, and nothing more.

Sure you’ve got pain,
Now and again,
But love is still there
In and out of bad weather.

Tears do fall, but they’ll soon dry.
Sweetie, happiness can last a lifetime.
Im not talking about a smile or two,
Im talking a heart full and everyday new.

When you can’t feel the road,
Jump high until you fall back to ground.
When you’re hurting more than ever
I dare you to smile, and run forward.

Here is your air; here is your food, your water.
This is what you need, and nothing more.

You’ve been given more than required for earthly living.
You’ve gotten love, friends, and joy everlasting.
God gave you a heart to reach out, and be his child,
There’s a time for sadness, but also for joy and abundant life.

-Bec-  


there's more to living than being alive

~Anberlin

© Copyright 2007 Becca - All Rights Reserved
stargal
Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352
OR USA
1 posted 2007-10-26 01:28 PM


Hi Becca,

I enjoyed reading this poem a lot, you speak of  our wealth in what people would deem everyday living. My one quirk was the "hun" or "sweetie" to me it sounds very ... truck stop waitress-ish, no offense. In truth it could be because I have an aunt who likes to use those words in naming everyone.... lol

Thanks for sharing, been awhile since I have read your poems and I'm glad I saw this one

~Stargal

"The rising morning can't insure that we shall end the day; For death stands ready at the door to snatch our lives away"
              @-->---

Verg
Member
since 2007-10-25
Posts 52
Colorado
2 posted 2007-10-26 04:32 PM


I agree with stargal there were a lot of hun's and sweetie's ya kinda sounded like my grandma
forever*wishing
Member
since 2006-05-29
Posts 178
where my heart is
3 posted 2007-10-26 06:23 PM


thanx for the replies, and i guess i talk like a waitress! =] lol...but ya, i see what yall mean. =]
-bec-

there's more to living than being alive

~Anberlin

stargal
Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352
OR USA
4 posted 2007-10-26 09:26 PM


eeek! That came out wrong, I'm not saying you talk like a waitress but... okay, yes, I was, but what I really was trying to get across was that this kind of "speak" doesn't sound right for the poem, if you know what I mean?

~Stargal

"The rising morning can't insure that we shall end the day; For death stands ready at the door to snatch our lives away"
              @-->---

forever*wishing
Member
since 2006-05-29
Posts 178
where my heart is
5 posted 2007-10-29 04:12 PM


ya, its cool... =]
i didn't really take it that way... sry *]
i get wat u mean

there's more to living than being alive

~Anberlin

Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080
Realm of Supernatural
6 posted 2007-11-12 09:57 PM


Enjoyed

ARCTIC WIND

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