Constant Sorrow - pipTalk Forums

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

Teen Poetry #8

Constant Sorrow

surf_painter
Member

since 2007-04-10

Posts 434
Canada

0 posted 2007-09-11 03:20 PM

I feel the touch of your skin
Before the pain
There you are again
Sitting by the window
I can almost touch your hand
I see that serene face
And fall in dispair
Walking right through
What use to be you
With my black heart
Worn on my sleeve
The weeping continues
A constant reminder of you
Sitting on the bed
Oh how that ghost
Will last
Will never be gone
All the reminders are still here
The photos of old
Only bring tears to my eyes
Remembering those years
With you by my side
I close my eyes

forever*wishing
Member

since 2006-05-29

Posts 178
where my heart is

1 posted 2007-09-12 12:10 PM

that was really good

honestly, the only thing i would change is take the last line out...but that could just be me again, i'm kinda more blind to flow and rhythym...so maybe you shouldn't listen to that...lol
but ya, other than that, i thought it was perfect! don't change it

there's more to living than being alive

~Anberlin

Leanne <3
Member

since 2007-08-25

Posts 216
N.S.W, Australia

2 posted 2007-09-16 12:30 PM

this was a great poem. i really enjoyed reading it. the emotion just overtook me!

Clockwork_Orange
Senior Member

since 2007-03-23

Posts 620
Space Camp, IN

3 posted 2007-09-16 10:36 AM

it was very sad and thats what made it beautiful.

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.