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Teen Poetry #8
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buttercupbaby
Member
since 2006-05-03
Posts 400
outside in the rain

0 posted 2007-09-08 02:55 AM



i cant stop thinking about you, you wont leave my mind
this is getting quite ridiculous, my heart wont stop its flip-flops
we met little over a month ago, and maybe my love is blind
but i dont really give a da*n, cause this feeling aint gonna stop

i swear its driving me to insanity, im going up the wall
i dont know if this is time well spent, or if its worth the while
but i would walk a thousand miles, on hands an knees i'd crawl
to simply touch the ground you walk on, just to see you smile

i keep trying to save others from falling in too deep
cause i dont want to see any hurt, but this time is way different
cause i cant even save myself, im more in than jus knee-deep
to hell with hurt-it doesnt matter!i truly love this sweet sentiment

oh to only tell you how i feel, just to feel your arms around me
to look in your beautiful eyes, and feel like you actually care
i would tell the whole world if i could, shout across every sea
i would travel the world around, bring back the moon,

just to be with you, right here

© Copyright 2007 Marisa F - All Rights Reserved
forever*wishing
Member
since 2006-05-29
Posts 178
where my heart is
1 posted 2007-09-08 01:34 PM


i think this is a very relatable poem, but in different ways to different people, you know?
and i love how ends when you wouldn't quite expect it, it just makes it tie! (8
the only thing i noticed was one line was a little cliche, but its REALLY hard not to do that! i definately struggle with that! lol...but, i really liked this one  
:: thumbs up! ::

there's more to living than being alive

~Anberlin

buttercupbaby
Member
since 2006-05-03
Posts 400
outside in the rain
2 posted 2007-09-08 11:02 PM


thanks bec.
:]
which line was it?2nd from last?
i think that kind of is.

~missy
afraid of my feelings and falling too deep, but i had to let go of the pain let it rain down on me

forever*wishing
Member
since 2006-05-29
Posts 178
where my heart is
3 posted 2007-09-09 10:51 AM


the one about walking a thousand miles, but seriously, its not like doing anything to the poem, so its ok (8
:: double thumbs up! ::
lol

there's more to living than being alive

~Anberlin

hunnie_girl
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2006-06-18
Posts 2567
Canada
4 posted 2007-09-12 03:11 PM


but i would walk a thousand miles, on hands an knees i'd crawl
to simply touch the ground you walk on, just to see you smile~

Awe I really like this it is so sweet I love this.
Krysti

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