navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #8 » Love for my father
Teen Poetry #8
Post A Reply Post New Topic Love for my father Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Kanttorii
New Member
since 2007-08-29
Posts 3
Finland

0 posted 2007-08-29 04:41 PM



Your my father
To heart and mind
Hope and live a good life

His heart is full of love
To the generation of mine
He is proud of us
And we of him

Him to no-one
We want to change
May he be here forever
To pray for our life

He preaches for us everyday
Why, thats not so hard to understand
We're the next generation of his

We, the own kin of his
We love him the most
We do not want him lost
We dare care for you

We're angry, sad at you sometimes
For the things you say or do
And your angry and dissapointed
On us too
We understand you
And love you too
I fully hope you'll understand us too

You are the one who
Tells me the wisest of words
I don't know how to thank you
I don't even think you know how much
We praise you

Duty are left behind
Today we'll smile
And joy together
For our good lives

For much we have to thank you
We need you so
Do not know how live without
The words, the rules,
The love, the care,
Everything we share

We are so proud of you

© Copyright 2007 Laney - All Rights Reserved
rhia_5779
Senior Member
since 2006-06-09
Posts 1334
California
1 posted 2007-09-01 05:13 PM


I think you mean  we do care
instead of we dare care. Maybe, I could be wrong. Its good that you love your dad because there are so many kids out there who don't either  because he doesn't deserve it or they can't look beyond themselvs.

surf_painter
Member
since 2007-04-10
Posts 434
Canada
2 posted 2007-09-02 11:16 PM


it would appear that in most places you are missing alot of words so it doesn't seem smooth and it doesn't seem to join in the sentences so it just seems like a bunch of disjointed words put together
Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #8 » Love for my father

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary