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Teen Poetry #8
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hunnie_girl
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since 2006-06-18
Posts 2567
Canada

0 posted 2007-07-09 06:50 PM


Happy bloody birthday another down the drain,
time after time of living through pain,
another day to face open fears,
end with a Jack and a couple of beers,

Happy bloody birthday blow out the candles on your cake,
smile like you are happy even though it's fake,
from your childhood lines are traced,
all those memories left unfaced,

Happy bloody birthday another year gone by,
look down in the bottle that suddenly went dry,
you're all out of Jack and the beer is finished too,
So pop off the top I guess whiskey'll do

~fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me~

© Copyright 2007 Krysti - All Rights Reserved
Alaina
Member
since 2007-06-16
Posts 106

1 posted 2007-07-09 07:54 PM


this is really great i can feel the agitation in it. i'm sorry you had to go through this. great poem though

I know you'll be a sun in somebody else's sky, but why can't it be mine?
-Eddie Vedder

Clockwork_Orange
Senior Member
since 2007-03-23
Posts 620
Space Camp, IN
2 posted 2007-07-09 09:38 PM


I LOVED IT>>>>but.....jack is whiskey....oh well.....as you may know, i like whiskey. and poetry. and when you mix them, its the best. although the poem was sad, it was amazing.
Jezzika
Member
since 2005-01-05
Posts 154
work
3 posted 2007-07-09 10:38 PM


WOW!
This poem was beyond amazing...
I LOVED IT!!!!!!!!!!

One trillion dollars could buy a heart a soul ~ Anti-Flag

BrittanyJ
Member
since 2007-06-03
Posts 461
Come find me?
4 posted 2007-07-10 06:16 PM


hunnie! You never cease to amaze me I could really feel the agitation...i loved it!! And CO's right, jack is whiskey...

Please excuse me, my heart is bleeding.

RenaissanceRomanceRunsRed
Senior Member
since 2007-06-11
Posts 1062
In Love <3
5 posted 2007-07-10 08:24 PM


considering this is totally against my moral standing- it was near comical. i honestly am too confused from moral and dignity to even know what to say except that it was fantastically well written.

-Red

"I thought I'd just mention in passing . . . I always wanted a Sparkly of my very own." -Jeremy The Crow

RenaissanceRomanceRunsRed
Senior Member
since 2007-06-11
Posts 1062
In Love <3
6 posted 2007-07-10 08:26 PM


ps- sorry if i have offened, my mouth sometimes runs and i don't see where's its gone 'til i get where it's gone.

-Red

"I thought I'd just mention in passing . . . I always wanted a Sparkly of my very own." -Jeremy The Crow

hunnie_girl
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since 2006-06-18
Posts 2567
Canada
7 posted 2007-07-12 12:40 PM


ohh no offence.. and CO yah I know but whiskey just seemed to fit(like the word I mean) like it seemed to flow better.. correct me if I'm wrong thanks for all your replies tho.
hunnie.

~fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me~

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