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Teen Poetry #8
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pen&paper
Senior Member
since 2006-06-06
Posts 513


0 posted 2007-07-07 11:51 AM


Been tryin so hard to write
Extraordinarily
That it comes out way too
Extra Ordinary
Just can't get that extra edge
That the whole world seems to need

Don’t care if I have an audience
I’m gonna sing and they’ll applaud because
Snapping fingers doesn’t quite
Make enough noise for me

I know who I am
Even if you think I don’t
I know what I’m gonna do
Don’t care if you think that I won’t

The monotony of small town life
Gives off too much security
Gotta pack my bags get in my car
And head off into the city

Well, I would, but you see
That life just isn’t for me
Cause I’m too young to drive
Too old to be able to thrive
On waiting around for what
Is supposed to be my reward

If I knew what I was working towards
Then I might be able to endure
The day to day
Slow paced drag
Might be able to lag
Behind my competition
For a fast-paced dream
Of the City Girl In Me


© Copyright 2007 Cierra L. Robbeloth - All Rights Reserved
Alaina
Member
since 2007-06-16
Posts 106

1 posted 2007-07-07 12:01 PM



I really like this although i think that
"Can’t seem to get that extra edge
That the whole world seems to need" might sound better if it was something like Just can't get that extra edge That thew hole world seems to need. I'm just not crazy about how it says seem in 2 places so close. I really liked the story that you wrote in this though. Great job

I know you'll be a sun in somebody else's sky, but why can't it be mine?
-Eddie Vedder

hunnie_girl
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2006-06-18
Posts 2567
Canada
2 posted 2007-07-09 06:40 PM


ahh I can relate to this feeling. tx for sharing
hunnie.

~fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me~

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