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Teen Poetry #8
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totyfroty
New Member
since 2007-07-06
Posts 6


0 posted 2007-07-07 05:52 AM



hi guys
This is a long poem and I hope you will like it
tell me what you think

Remember.....
I loved and care
Remember...
I never betray
It is you who hurt me
Long time ago
Now you are back
Full of love and care
You left nothing but despair
It is too late my dear
Finally, I am healed
I spent years in pain
I forgave but in vain
Everyday you make a mistake
You come to say
It is out of my hand
I will repent
It is you I love
They meant nothing
Really, they don't?
If I meant anything
You wouldn't hurt me
How many time you lied
How many girl you hurt
Do not play innocent on me
You are a liar, you are deceptive
You will end up all alone
That is what you deserve
I pity you, you know
You will never feel love
You will never be happy
So, deceive and lie
It will come back on you
You will be miserable



© Copyright 2007 totyfroty - All Rights Reserved
hunnie_girl
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2006-06-18
Posts 2567
Canada
1 posted 2007-07-09 06:25 PM


I spent years in pain
I forgave but in vain

my favorite lines I liked the flow of this part...
hunnie.

~fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me~

RenaissanceRomanceRunsRed
Senior Member
since 2007-06-11
Posts 1062
In Love <3
2 posted 2007-07-13 10:14 AM


sounds like theres alot of emotion and hurt attached to this. i like how it starts out with the persona feeling one way and then at the end they feel the opposite way. i guess that's b/c alot of my own poems do that.

"I thought I'd just mention in passing . . . I always wanted a Sparkly of my very own." -Jeremy The Crow

stargal
Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352
OR USA
3 posted 2007-07-18 02:10 AM


Hi totyfroty,

I really enjoyed reading your poem! As the person who posted prior to me, I liked the way the poem starts out on one emotion and ends on another. Thanks for sharing this piece, I hope to read more of your work in the near future

"The rising morning can't insure that we shall end the day; For death stands ready at the door to snatch our lives away"
              @-->---

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