navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #8 » Why am I dying to live, when I am living to die?
Teen Poetry #8
Post A Reply Post New Topic Why am I dying to live, when I am living to die? Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Gifted
Member
since 2007-06-26
Posts 140
Caribbean

0 posted 2007-06-29 08:16 AM



Why am I dying to live, when I am living to die?
Why am I trying to live
I ask the question why?
Why am I stuck to the ground
when I am trying to fly?
Why am I saying hello
when I can't say good-bye?
And why am I saying good-bye,
when I have yet to say hi?

Why am I fordging a smile
when inside I cry?
Why am I trying to grin
when really I sigh?
Why can't I handle the truth,
when I can handle a lie?
Why am I trying to make the suit fit
when I can not tie a tie?
Why do i wake up everyday asking the question why....
Why am I dying to live, when I am living to die?

Peace. Love. Forgiveness.
  Blessings and Guidance

© Copyright 2007 Jonathan - All Rights Reserved
SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
1 posted 2007-06-29 08:56 AM


you ask so many questions....you must know Jezzika! LOL she is always doing that to me...

it just sounds like you are going in circles here, and like you are not happy but faking it. (and that is me, not sugar coating it...lol) I don't mean to be mean at all, but the rhymes feel really forced too. I never like that.

But I do understand the questions...I think everyone goes through that at some point...where you just feel like you are faking  it, that you are sad inside but have no clue why, cause life really isn't that bad. It does get better.

Gifted
Member
since 2007-06-26
Posts 140
Caribbean
2 posted 2007-06-29 09:00 AM


Ok, but I don't feel that way anymore.  This is a really old poem.  I think I've improved a lot since this poem.

Peace. Love. Forgiveness.
  Blessings and Guidance

pen&paper
Senior Member
since 2006-06-06
Posts 513

3 posted 2007-06-29 10:58 AM


Hey, Gifted. I really liked this poem. I often feel this way myself. However I do agree that the rhyme, and at cetain points the rhythym was a little forced. Write from your heart, let it flow. Good write!
       Pen

Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things!

Gifted
Member
since 2007-06-26
Posts 140
Caribbean
4 posted 2007-06-29 01:53 PM


Uh huh.  I have learned a lot since that poem.  When I write now, it's what I feel.  When I see it's not flowing anymore I just stop, or wait until something else comes to me, but I try my best not to force anything.  So thanks.

Peace. Love. Forgiveness.
  Blessings and Guidance

SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
5 posted 2007-06-29 02:30 PM


cool. I'm glad you don't feel that way anymore, that is a rotten place to be...when it was my turn I was so out of sorts...
Gifted
Member
since 2007-06-26
Posts 140
Caribbean
6 posted 2007-06-29 02:36 PM


I know, why does being a teenager have to be so hard?  I think I'll write a poem about it... someday, I will.

Peace. Love. Forgiveness.
  Blessings and Guidance

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #8 » Why am I dying to live, when I am living to die?

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary