I'm Getting Dizzy - pipTalk Forums

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Gifted
Member

since 2007-06-26

Posts 140
Caribbean

0 posted 2007-06-28 03:06 PM

I have an unsure feeling
when I look in the mirror.
I don't know if it's a reflection,
or perhaps
a blank canvas I should paint on
so that
I will see something in front of me.

What am I
besides confused?
I want to be myself
not similarly different.

But first, I have to figure out
who is the person
on the birth certificate who's name
is like deja vu.

However,
before I do this, I have to figure out
what is true
to the fact of the matter
that makes up my bodliy mass.
But this apology,
does my mind no justice.

I feel like
I'm going in circles.

Peace. Love. Forgiveness.
Blessings and Guidance

Jezzika
Member

since 2005-01-05

Posts 154
work

1 posted 2007-06-28 06:56 PM

"What am I
besides confused?"

THIS WAS SO AMAZINGLY AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!
I loved this poem and from what i interpreted I think I have felt that was so many frickin' times and it just makes you want to scream....
You are so talented...

GREAT POEM

One trillion dollars could buy a heart a soul ~ Anti-Flag

Gifted
Member

since 2007-06-26

Posts 140
Caribbean

2 posted 2007-06-28 07:07 PM

Thank you kindly Jezzika. I am glad that you like the poem. I know many, if not all of the teenagers in this day and age, can relate to this poem.

Peace. Love. Forgiveness.
Blessings and Guidance

Clockwork_Orange
Senior Member

since 2007-03-23

Posts 620
Space Camp, IN

3 posted 2007-06-28 08:06 PM

man. i like the poem. but i hate being dizzy.

Gifted
Member

since 2007-06-26

Posts 140
Caribbean

4 posted 2007-06-28 08:40 PM

Yeah, I don't like being dizzy either, that's why I have to find out who I am.

Peace. Love. Forgiveness.
Blessings and Guidance

pen&paper
Senior Member

since 2006-06-06

Posts 513

5 posted 2007-06-29 11:02 AM

I really loved this! Many teens can relate I'm sure. I just have 1 critique.

RELAX!!! It seems as though you're trying too hard to sound poised or "grown up".

I loved the way this was set up. Great Job!

Pen

Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things!

Gifted
Member

since 2007-06-26

Posts 140
Caribbean

6 posted 2007-06-29 08:09 PM

Nah Pen, I wasn't trying to be grown up, maybe it just sounds that way because you're just a kid. LOL. Just kidding. I don't know why it sounds that way, maybe it's just my style of writing. However, with this poem I couldn't relax, I mean the name is "I'm Getting Dizzy". So I was going in circles looking for an answer. Kind of like I was frantically searching in the files of my head.

Peace. Love. Forgiveness.
Blessings and Guidance

Alaina
Member

since 2007-06-16

Posts 106

7 posted 2007-06-29 10:16 PM

i really liked this especially the way you ended it. I thought the rhythm was a little awkward at times though. but other than that i loved the words you used and the idea you brought up. good work!

I know you'll be a sun in somebody else's sky, but why can't it be mine?
-Eddie Vedder

Gifted
Member

since 2007-06-26

Posts 140
Caribbean

8 posted 2007-06-30 01:01 AM

Thank you Alaina, you're right though, the rhythm was kind of awkward

Peace. Love. Forgiveness.
Blessings and Guidance

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