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Teen Poetry #8
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A Secret
| Teen Poetry #8 |
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A Secret |
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Alaina Member
since 2007-06-16
Posts 106 |
Hidden in her eyes Are so many lies, But they are just a shield To cover up the things that can’t be revealed. She looks in the mirror, her reflection now shattered, There’s nothing more than a face that’s torn and battered. She is a tortured soul, Just wanting for her heart to be whole. She’s been throwing those flowers At your face for hours, But she’s imaging them turn into knives Your pain is exactly what she thrives. One day, someone was watching this girl, And everything about her began to unfurl. She was then confronted, About the personality she fronted. Her face drained of all color, Never thought she’d find this in another: Someone that can read it in her face, All she’s ever wanted was to feel love’s embrace. |
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| © Copyright 2007 Alaina - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Clockwork_Orange Senior Member
since 2007-03-23
Posts 620Space Camp, IN |
great closer. i loved it. very good. your very talented. |
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surf_painter Member
since 2007-04-10
Posts 434Canada |
i found that the rhymning seemed a bit forced but good job |
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Alaina Member
since 2007-06-16
Posts 106 |
i know i was scared that the third stanza would have that kind of effect but i was just watching my friend one day in the park throwing flowers at my other friend and those words just came to my mind, but thank you for your thoughts I know you'll be a sun in somebody else's sky, but why can't it be mine? |
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Gifted Member
since 2007-06-26
Posts 140Caribbean |
It was a nice poem, although I felt some of the lines were a bit too short. Also, check your spelling(third stanza, third line). Good work. Peace. Love. Forgiveness. |
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Jezzika Member
since 2005-01-05
Posts 154work |
This was awesome.... I liked it alot..  One trillion dollars could buy a heart a soul ~ Anti-Flag |
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