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Teen Poetry #8
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Clockwork_Orange
Senior Member
since 2007-03-23
Posts 620
Space Camp, IN

0 posted 2007-06-17 08:12 PM


i said i was sorry
but i cant turn back time.
i did my best and failed the test.
i guess im just another line.

but thats all i ever was,
just a chapter in your book.
i just wanna let you know,
that goodbye was all it took.

so ill bleed these lines onto paper.
and let my feelings go.
ill pour my heart onto these pages,
and then bury them deep below.

because no one wants to hear my words,
and if they do i really dont care.
because the only voice i want to hear,
is the one of the person who wont meet my stare.

i tryed my best and fell so hard,
but i never went down without pride.
im sorry if you cant stand to see me,
but i no longer have anything to hide.

so scream at me and make me hurt,
just make me want to break.
because im tired of always doing my best,
ive had all i can take.


© Copyright 2007 Bryan Lucas - All Rights Reserved
RenaissanceRomanceRunsRed
Senior Member
since 2007-06-11
Posts 1062
In Love <3
1 posted 2007-06-17 08:42 PM


it almost made me cry, and if i wasn't about to throwup or faint i may have. (those are not the affects of you poem, but maybe i should check my dinner out further)

you should take into consideration that that is the highest compliment i could give that it makes me cry.

-Red

Inigo Montoya: You seem a decent fellow. I hate to kill you.
Westley: You seem a decent fellow. I hate to die.

WaterFairy103
Member
since 2006-05-31
Posts 196

2 posted 2007-06-17 09:21 PM


Wow! Very nice!  I like the message, "Go ahead and hurt me, I've had it!"  Awesome!!

I've stopped fighting my inner demons... we're on the same side now.

Alaina
Member
since 2007-06-16
Posts 106

3 posted 2007-06-17 10:54 PM


out of all of the stuff that i've read yours is definitely my favorite, another great one
BrittanyJ
Member
since 2007-06-03
Posts 461
Come find me?
4 posted 2007-06-17 11:45 PM


This poem struck way too close to home for me I have been trying to put that in words for months now. I can say that you did a much better job. I love your work, hope to read more soon.

Life is not a matter of destiny, but a matter of choice.

roxy_rox
New Member
since 2007-06-18
Posts 2
NSW Austalia
5 posted 2007-06-18 06:26 AM


that is one of the best poems
in the world!!
it's very, very good.
I wish I was as good poet.

Clockwork_Orange
Senior Member
since 2007-03-23
Posts 620
Space Camp, IN
6 posted 2007-06-18 12:45 PM


im really not that good at writing a poem. i just got lucky in captureing how i felt at one time, because to tell you the truth, i like to read other peoples poetry more than reading my own.
myheartbleedsrazorblades
Junior Member
since 2007-06-11
Posts 13
Canada
7 posted 2007-06-18 03:05 PM


Dude, don't say that.  It was really good!!  Besides, most people do prefer other peoples to their own.  Im definelty one of them.  So just keep up with what you've been doing!! It's working!!

Look on the bright side of life.  Dont take it all to seriuosly!

surf_painter
Member
since 2007-04-10
Posts 434
Canada
8 posted 2007-06-18 11:25 PM


this was just soo powerful i liked it and thats all i need to say the poem speaks for itself
rhia_5779
Senior Member
since 2006-06-09
Posts 1334
California
9 posted 2007-06-19 07:35 AM


You expresses this really well. Speecheless! Thats a compliment , I never stop talking as my friends can say. I talk wayyy too much. BUt I really don't know what to say, it rendered me speechless. this was really great. Something jus tclicked
hunnie_girl
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2006-06-18
Posts 2567
Canada
10 posted 2007-06-19 05:51 PM


ahh Chris you are so right, Orange this was AMAZING I liked the msg sent out great.
hunnie.

~fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me~

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