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Teen Poetry #8
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Lamb eats Lion
| Teen Poetry #8 |
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Lamb eats Lion |
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RenaissanceRomanceRunsRed Senior Member
since 2007-06-11
Posts 1062In Love <3 |
Lamb eats Lion I stuck my bare hand into your rib cage and fished around Until I found your heart; cruelly I ripped it out, And then I tore it apart all while saying “Oh, you don’t really need this thing anymore” Like Eve holds her apple- your heart in my hands Still beating, it’s warm and the blood drips everywhere around me Pity- she couldn’t love the one that loved her so Wait- she is me and I didn’t realize what I meant to you Papers torn and ripped to shreds that no one could figure Emblems thrown away and flowers splayed in the trash can My face turns from yours- a shame I bear because of you The expression in your eyes when I draw near- a rabbit caught in headlights Lamb eats lion, and no one saw the final effect Gentle looked her slight countenance until you saw her deed So the lamb ate the lion, so what, so let the games begin Let go the lion from the lamb, for it doesn’t stand a chance I didn’t know my own cruelty until one- your friend told me of it A touch of my skin makes yours crawl with joy and pain Kiss this hand, the one that holds your heart so tightly tonight Swept into an embrace she knows not how to escape, she runs Slay her dragon and she’ll run off with the man next to you Poor man- you can’t win, she’ll rarely think of you, but poor you- Thoughts of her will consume your every waking moment And single out every sleeping dream you hold for time devoid of end I stuck my bare hand into your rip cage and fished around until I found your heart ripped it out tore it apart while saying You dont need this anymore |
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Clockwork_Orange Senior Member
since 2007-03-23
Posts 620Space Camp, IN |
hey red. this was an interesting piece. and i must say ive really never read anything quite like your work. although everytime i read one of your pieces, i always think of keats' work. idk why, there not that similer...but it still happens. oh and btw hit me up on myspace or sumthin...mines myspace.com/goxautobahnxstyle |
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jayjara Member
since 2007-05-02
Posts 90Florida |
Sweet.. a dark piece...some commas could fix the flow, though, but the free verse w/ no rhyme was pretty kool -J |
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RenaissanceRomanceRunsRed Senior Member
since 2007-06-11
Posts 1062In Love <3 |
orange, i don't have a myspace- ditched it after a few inncidences at school. but i would love to chat with you. thanks for the compliments. -Red (by the way- i do not have red hair, just thought i would clear that up) I stuck my bare hand into your rip cage and fished around until I found your heart ripped it out tore it apart while saying You dont need this anymore |
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rhia_5779 Senior Member
since 2006-06-09
Posts 1334California |
I like the description in your work. I can picture it, the writing in this is very dark but I like it. Maybe a bit more about the ways your being cruel, examples. Your a very talented writer and your writing make sme think. Interesting idea the lamb eating lion, prey turns predator |
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RenaissanceRomanceRunsRed Senior Member
since 2007-06-11
Posts 1062In Love <3 |
it fits- i was the lamb and no doubt he was the lion. and i ate him alive. I stuck my bare hand into your rip cage and fished around until I found your heart ripped it out tore it apart while saying You dont need this anymore |
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