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Teen Poetry #8
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hunnie_girl
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since 2006-06-18
Posts 2567
Canada

0 posted 2007-06-14 01:24 AM


You're the reason I cry at night,
yet still the one that holds me tight,
You're the reason why I still get butterflies,
I just melt when I look in your eyes,

So why am I living with this doubt,
I have a feeling I'm missing out,
Why do I wonder if theres a girl on the side,
one that you are willing to hide,

I think I'm too in love to see you love me too,
Why am I so damn afraid of losing you,
Why can't I throw my worries away,
How do you always know just what to say,

I wish I'd know the truth behind your smile,
I wish you'd open up once in awhile,
Talk with me let's clean up this mess,
Share your thoughts, come on confess,

This time I won't get lost in your eyes,
I won't let you give me butterflies.

~fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me~

© Copyright 2007 Krysti - All Rights Reserved
WaterFairy103
Member
since 2006-05-31
Posts 196

1 posted 2007-06-14 01:27 AM


Wow... I really love this, this is so amazing.  I know exactly how you feel, I look at mine sometimes and wonder what he's really thinking.  This is fantastic, and for the record, I think you're a simply incredible writer, and you're one of my idols.  Anyway, EXCEELLENT write!

I've stopped fighting my inner demons... we're on the same side now.

RenaissanceRomanceRunsRed
Senior Member
since 2007-06-11
Posts 1062
In Love <3
2 posted 2007-06-14 06:59 AM


hey floow your feelings, especailly the ones that come out when you write. if i had done that when i saw the sings in my poetry it could have saved me so much grief listen to yourself, women are so uncannily right so much of the time. please don't do what i did save yourself. please i'm really asking look at the things you wrote. i thought he loved me and he didn't and i fell for him big time. things aren't always as they appeare. so be careful please.

i loved the poem, it was very good. nice structure and it had a lot of emotion.

-Red

I stuck my bare hand into your rip cage and fished around until I found your heart ripped it out tore it apart while saying You dont need this anymore

surf_painter
Member
since 2007-04-10
Posts 434
Canada
3 posted 2007-06-14 07:37 AM


i liked it i just liked its flow and what it was about i just loved it all it was an amazing write
hunnie_girl
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since 2006-06-18
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4 posted 2007-06-15 11:47 AM


thanks y'all for replying it means a lot to me
hunnie.

~fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me~

myheartbleedsrazorblades
Junior Member
since 2007-06-11
Posts 13
Canada
5 posted 2007-06-16 01:45 AM


I as well liked it!!  I really liked the way it progressed, the ending was, SUPERB!!!
Alaina
Member
since 2007-06-16
Posts 106

6 posted 2007-06-18 09:08 PM


i really liked the progression in feelings throughout this poem, very nice job. i'll be looking for more of your work.
hunnie_girl
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since 2006-06-18
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7 posted 2007-07-05 05:20 PM


thank you both for replying
hunnie.

~fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me~

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navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #8 » You make me live in doubt

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