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hunnie_girl

Member Elite

since 2006-06-18

Posts 2567
Canada

0 posted 2007-06-05 11:37 PM

The future's finally looking brighter,
I can feel my mind getting lighter,
Finally I can see through this haze,
No longer am I living in a maze,

I thought once you found out my life would end,
but when we all calmed down it was a God-send,
I can finally talk and tell you what I've wanted to say,
You don't know how long I've needed this day,

I'm glad that we've sorted it out,
we're closer now without a doubt,
I guess we all got caught in my lies,
And it hurt me so much to look in your eyes,

If I'd have known that, I would have told you before,
'cos I'm so happy I don't have to hide anymore

~fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me~

BrittanyJ
Member

since 2007-06-03

Posts 461
Come find me?

1 posted 2007-06-06 10:29 AM

I really liked the happy ending! It was a great read!

Life is not a matter of destiny, but a matter of choice.

rhia_5779
Senior Member

since 2006-06-09

Posts 1334
California

2 posted 2007-06-06 02:31 PM

Glad everything worked it and its nice how the poem ended happy. I like the poem its fresh and really unforced and flows really well

surf_painter
Member

since 2007-04-10

Posts 434
Canada

3 posted 2007-06-10 11:06 PM

good poem i can tell alot of feeling went into it but i think it might be a bit short maybe a few more sentences to say what happened i'm not sure i liked the poem but i don't know i feel like it is lacking something still good poem

RenaissanceRomanceRunsRed
Senior Member

since 2007-06-11

Posts 1062
In Love <3

4 posted 2007-06-20 06:33 PM

oh gosh now hunnie, you just made me wake up. now if only i could unravle the dream still hanging on the insides of my eye lids.

-Red

Inigo Montoya: You seem a decent fellow. I hate to kill you.
Westley: You seem a decent fellow. I hate to die.

Alaina
Member

since 2007-06-16

Posts 106

5 posted 2007-06-20 07:24 PM

oh my god i love this poem. the flow is great and i love the feeling in it.

Dooglam
New Member

since 2007-06-20

Posts 5
Pasadena, CA

6 posted 2007-06-20 09:32 PM

I like it. its up-beat

Clockwork_Orange
Senior Member

since 2007-03-23

Posts 620
Space Camp, IN

7 posted 2007-06-21 12:48 PM

you found an awesome rythm here. and i love it

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