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Teen Poetry #8
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buttercupbaby
Member
since 2006-05-03
Posts 400
outside in the rain

0 posted 2007-06-03 09:40 PM



dont remember my face
or my soft fingers trace
dont remember my voice
or my hearts hurting choice
dont remember my eyes
or all the lies
dont remember my smile
or any of the trials
dont remember my hair
or the blooming roses fair
dont remember my smell
or how our love fell
just remember one thing
and one thing only
while your moving on
my heart lies breaking
and you're gone.

~missy
My tears of love are a waste of time if I turn away..
my love is a waste of time
if you never stay

© Copyright 2007 Marisa F - All Rights Reserved
Tinsel
Junior Member
since 2007-06-04
Posts 36
UK
1 posted 2007-06-04 02:37 PM


I really liked that poem. For constructive criticism -this really has nothing to do with the poem, cos it was ace- just thought I'd mention that where to words have been joined together, such as "do" and "not" in "don't" there is an aposotrophe where the missing letter is.
buttercupbaby
Member
since 2006-05-03
Posts 400
outside in the rain
2 posted 2007-06-04 07:18 PM


thanks for the reply tinsel! Yes, i wrote it on notepad and i never go through and edit my poetry, so i just pasted it on here and didn't think about it.. sorry!

~missy
My tears of love are a waste of time if I turn away..
my love is a waste of time
if you never stay

hunnie_girl
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2006-06-18
Posts 2567
Canada
3 posted 2007-06-05 01:05 AM


notepad really? that is what I do I really liked this it was so cute I can realte so well too.
hunnie.

~fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me~

buttercupbaby
Member
since 2006-05-03
Posts 400
outside in the rain
4 posted 2007-06-05 07:20 PM


lol yes really! thats always what i do.. ha ha.. :]
well thanks for the replies! GB<><
glad y'all liked it

~missy
My tears of love are a waste of time if I turn away..
my love is a waste of time
if you never stay

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