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Teen Poetry #8
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Winners in last place
| Teen Poetry #8 |
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Winners in last place |
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gozaggss Junior Member
since 2006-04-26
Posts 33 |
The stronger you are, The harder you fall. Sometimes you’ll make it, Some but not all. Big and brawny Finishes first, But double the hunger And double the thirst. Taking the steroids Winning the race How does it feel To win in last place? Sabotaged opponents Gripe and complain They’re ignored though Lost in your fame Winning brings the arrogance And also disease Afraid to lose Afraid to displease Knees shaking on stage No less than others In front of your family Your sisters and brothers Clock strikes twelve Bell begins the test Nothing’s going to stop you From becoming the very best Clock strikes one Race gas begun End is in sight Winning the fight Clock strikes two Losing a few Not far behind Being unkind Clock strikes three Weak as can be Struggle to compete Too great a feat Clock tolls four Body hits the floor End is in sight Long lost the fight Runner falters last step Actor fudges last line Cheaters lost last Surely it’s a sign “Slow and steady Wins the race” Cheating and lying Gets you last place |
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| © Copyright 2007 gozaggss - All Rights Reserved | |||
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rhia_5779 Senior Member
since 2006-06-09
Posts 1334California |
the best instead I think The last stanza was the best out of it, it moraled the rest of the poem. Towards the end, it started to get to sing song and lose its rythmn and meaning. It seemed to stop being serious. I think some of the last three or four stanzas you could shorten and tweak a bit. |
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hunnie_girl
since 2006-06-18
Posts 2567Canada |
“Slow and steady Wins the race” Cheating and lying Gets you last place~ I agree with rhia the best  well this was amazing dont know how i missed it... tx for sharing.hunnie  ~fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me~ |
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