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Teen Poetry #8
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surf_painter
Member
since 2007-04-10
Posts 434
Canada

0 posted 2007-04-24 05:50 PM


Life seems to go on
I look over and your gone
Were you always gone or did you just leave
Was I dreaming
I thought for a second time stopped
Then I saw you starring
Was it me
Or that red head sleeze
Do you ever move
Or does time carry on
Leaving you behind
The fright
will I be left
Can someone save me
Jolting awake life
I am left
Yet life seems to go on


© Copyright 2007 surf_painter - All Rights Reserved
Ringo
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since 2003-02-20
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Saluting with misty eyes
1 posted 2007-04-24 08:34 PM


Welcome to Passions!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Please check your e-mail for a special greeting.

What would you attempt to do...if you knew you could not fail?.
www.myspace.com/mindlesspoet

surf_painter
Member
since 2007-04-10
Posts 434
Canada
2 posted 2007-04-24 11:29 PM


thank you it was a nice greeting
stargal
Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352
OR USA
3 posted 2007-04-25 01:28 AM


Hi surf_painter,

Welcome to the teen forum of piptalk! It's nice seeing some new faces and new poems around here. I really enjoyed what you wrote, admittedly I was lost in a few spots, but I did  like how you conveyed time to the reader.

Hope to read more from you soon

"The rising morning can't insure that we shall end the day; For death stands ready at the door to snatch our lives away"
              @-->---

hunnie_girl
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Member Elite
since 2006-06-18
Posts 2567
Canada
4 posted 2007-04-26 12:27 PM


Welcome to Passions I really liked the ending of this it was a good way to sum it all up. hope to read more soon...
hunnie

~fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me~

surf_painter
Member
since 2007-04-10
Posts 434
Canada
5 posted 2007-04-26 09:38 PM


wow i am so glad you guys liked it i didn't know if anyone would and i appreciate all the replies you guys have given me it helps to create better poems in the future
rhia_5779
Senior Member
since 2006-06-09
Posts 1334
California
6 posted 2007-04-27 12:13 PM


welcome to PiP


I think you could answer some of your own questions in the poems, it would be a interesting side to it. If you asked the questions and a nother persona answered some of them.

surf_painter
Member
since 2007-04-10
Posts 434
Canada
7 posted 2007-04-27 09:53 PM


that would be interesting but i'm not sure if i would be able to make it work all i have to take a day and try thank you for the suggestion
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