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playing.with.crayons
Member

since 2006-01-02

Posts 362
Neverland

0 posted 2007-04-19 03:58 AM

Tell me,
Do you see in her
what I see as well?

Are there maggots crawling
through her scalp,
white worms in braided tresses?

Tell me, does she run from you?
Opal in her hand
Watched by moon
and little else
As children, painted black and white
dance merrily in the rain

Tell me, are her teeth all rotten,
blackened? Broken? Bruised?
Do tears emerge as crimson tide,
stemming from her heart?

Tell me, are her eyes stained black
beneath a darkened lid?
Do shaking hands crack fragile glass?
Dear swan that lost its way

Tell me, do you see
in her eyes
what I see with mine?

Reflected, born of broken mirror

I watch her
Standing,
Alone and unmarked in
The room
In which she died
Last night.

and he said "little blackbird, take this letter to her"

Clockwork_Orange
Senior Member

since 2007-03-23

Posts 620
Space Camp, IN

1 posted 2007-04-19 05:26 AM

well, first off... awesome write, second... you have talent.

playing.with.crayons
Member

since 2006-01-02

Posts 362
Neverland

2 posted 2007-04-19 07:36 AM

Clockwork_Orange:

You are too sweet.

and he said "little blackbird, take this letter to her"

hunnie_girl

Member Elite

since 2006-06-18

Posts 2567
Canada

3 posted 2007-04-19 12:45 PM

I loved this it was really deep and full of thoughts...
hunnie

~fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me~

playing.with.crayons
Member

since 2006-01-02

Posts 362
Neverland

4 posted 2007-04-20 10:35 PM

hunnie_girl
thank you for your warm reply. oh yes, many deep things go on in my head *grin*

~ cheye

and he said "little blackbird, take this letter to her"

rhia_5779
Senior Member

since 2006-06-09

Posts 1334
California

5 posted 2007-04-21 05:23 PM

Wow. Awsome description. I could picture the girl so well, and it was not pretty believe me. You girl have talent. Keep writing you are good at describing.
Still in schock

surf_painter
Member

since 2007-04-10

Posts 434
Canada

6 posted 2007-05-19 10:56 AM

that was an amazing write you have some great talent in hand there

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