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WaterFairy103
Member

since 2006-05-31

Posts 196

0 posted 2007-04-17 05:00 PM

Somebody asked me today
if there were any clues.
If there was any way that
I could know that I'm in love with you.
I didn't have to think about it,
I said, "How many would you like?"
There's so many things that say
that you're the only man in my life.

Like when I go to bed at night,
I know I won't go to sleep.
Because I'm not gonna catch a wink,
until I pretend you're there holding me.
And when you come up beside me,
I slip my hand into yours.
Yeah, there are a whole bunch of ways,
that I can be totally sure.

The way I grin when I see you're message,
or the way my heart lifts when you're on.
And some cynics think it will fade over time,
but I know it'll be going strong.
You say it takes a crazy woman
to love you, and you're close.
But lucky for me, when it comes to crazy,
I've got a pretty healthy dose.

So when she asked how I was sure,
that love was where I got my glow.
I simply smiled and said these things,
then, "That's how I know."

~For Peter

I've stopped fighting my inner demons... we're on the same side now.

hunnie_girl

Member Elite

since 2006-06-18

Posts 2567
Canada

1 posted 2007-04-18 12:24 PM

Because I'm not gonna catch a wink,
until I pretend you're there holding me.~

Can really relate to this... I really like the whole poem so sweet.
hunnie

~fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me~

playing.with.crayons
Member

since 2006-01-02

Posts 362
Neverland

2 posted 2007-04-18 02:49 AM

what a pretty poem. I was going to add "witty" because i got that from this piece, then I thought to myself "hmm. pretty and witty. soon I shall be singing and waving a yellow bonnet"

and there's my ramble.
i enjoyed reading this.

and he said "little blackbird, take this letter to her"

TyroStar
Junior Member

since 2007-01-31

Posts 38

3 posted 2007-04-18 02:55 AM

The way I grin when I see you're message,
or the way my heart lifts when you're on.

The "you're" in this first line should be your. You're means "you are" so it's like saying "The way I grin when I see you are message". Your is implying possession. Making is HIS message. Also, the line after that, although most of us will see what you're saying, I would change on to online. It can be mistaken for many other things.

As for the positive. It wasn't too bad. Somewhat original idea for a love poem. Kinda.

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