♥The Voice Of Wisdom ♥ (A Pulled Apart, Re-Version of Learn To Dream)

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RevengeIsMine
Senior Member

since 2006-07-08

Posts 820
Australia

0 posted 2007-04-12 04:00 AM

Many of you people will remember parts of this from the poem "Learn to Dream".. Lately i have had a huge writers block and all i want to write about is sad stuff so i went back to my aspiring poem and gave it a read and tried to make it better so that maybe i could start believing in what i wrote.. anyway just let me know if you think its better that the original of if its rubbish...

Cheers,

♥ Jess♥
The Voice Of Wisdom

They say everybody has a reason to live, a motive to carry on
And even when you feel as low as this earth, that the journeys just begun
Life surely isn’t what I expected and I’d rather give it up
But I’ve learnt that failure is never an option even if your life is completely messed up.

Every second of the day another heart is heard weeping,
It’s the sound of shattered glass, for another life is bleeding
This Young girl is tired and lost inside
She’s giving up on it all now. She can’t find her pride
The syringe isn’t going to help her and neither will the knife
We can’t let these voices stop her from becoming a man’s wife

She slowly picks herself up and stands upon the ground
She lowers hands to her mouth without making a sound
She picks up the knife and throws it from the ledge
It lands below in an old man’s hedge

She starts to cry when she hears a voice
It’s her best friend again giving her a choice
You can’t do this girl; you can’t give up on your dreams
She takes no notice and begins to scream:

“Live life for the people who no longer believe
Live life for the moment, grow up and don’t be naive
Live life knowing that tomorrow is a new day and we can face it as a team
Live life knowing that world can be whatever you make it, just find your voice, and close your eyes, learn to DREAM!!!”

hunnie_girl

Member Elite

since 2006-06-18

Posts 2567
Canada

1 posted 2007-04-14 12:54 PM

I really like this I don't remember it much, I really think the words will get to some people they touched me...
hunnie

~fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me~

rhia_5779
Senior Member

since 2006-06-09

Posts 1334
California

2 posted 2007-04-14 04:38 AM

I like the last stanza so much, inspiring. THIS IS REALLY GOOD, I do not remember the original though

Kira Aso
Member

since 2006-09-26

Posts 351
Closer to Hell...

3 posted 2007-04-15 12:58 PM

Nope I've never read this before (I would hav remembered something like this)Simply wonderful! It is going to my favs!! Hope you aren't going through any more sad stuff

Lots of luv and hershey bars!
Kira

~Should the truth be so buried
in the endless cemetery of broken dreams?~

Clockwork_Orange
Senior Member

since 2007-03-23

Posts 620
Space Camp, IN

4 posted 2007-04-15 02:18 PM

i remember the original, and it was amazing, just as this piece was.

finely crafted choise of words and rythm. very in depth and quite compelling; very strait to the point. And although that point might differ from person to person, it still profusely makes a point. maybe not THE point, but still a point.

Free_Spirit07
Member

since 2006-01-29

Posts 222
The middle of my mind!

5 posted 2007-04-17 07:10 AM

Really enjoyed this poem! Good job. It's going into my favs too.

x0x0
Free_Spirit07
~%#*So far from perfect!*#%~
~%#*So far from life and living!*#%~

vexx
Junior Member

since 2007-04-20

Posts 14
denmark/bornholm

6 posted 2007-04-20 10:54 AM

i never read the original but i must say this has the words i needed last time i was down in the dark and descripes the darkness very good too...oh damn is that a tear

loved it

playing.with.crayons
Member

since 2006-01-02

Posts 362
Neverland

7 posted 2007-04-22 09:54 AM

it's so wonderful, when you see a person struggling, for them to still manage to pull out something beautiful like this.

inspiring indeed.
~ cheye

and he said "little blackbird, take this letter to her"

surf_painter
Member

since 2007-04-10

Posts 434
Canada

8 posted 2007-04-24 06:06 PM

i liked this one i havn't read the other but this was very good sometimes you were like this is flowing so well very nice read

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