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Teen Poetry #8
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Legend
| Teen Poetry #8 |
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Legend |
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rhia_5779 Senior Member
since 2006-06-09
Posts 1334California |
This is a revisement of another poem this one Warrior women known for their strength Meant to leave their mark. Forgotten and disbelieved Despite their legendary start. The goddess's of death who ruled Africa with iron fist? No longer take breath WHY now are they myth? *Personally I think both can stand by themselves as different poems but that is me. In days that long ago faded within the present times, The warrior women carried a legacy about as believable as a dream. An empire was built upon steady blades and ancient lines. We will remember the battle fury and courage of our perished mothers we have seen A people that rode to battle as one with their sister horse. Arrows that flew straight to the hearts of the challengers in their defeat. Symbolic blue and battle red merged together in remorse. Chanting prayers to the goddess of the hunt echoes in the battle heat. A thousand daughters rise up willing to die in memory of their fallen matriarchs. Descendants of one heritage ride in to battle galloping into the ranks of men. Parting the Red sea the painted queen cuts down Greek heroes with her sword of radiant stars. Blade in all his shimmering radiance protects his mistress from deathblows, he has to win. No man can conquer the savage warrior women of the east. Their generations carry on through their desire to be the winners of any conquest. We prove to the world that we are united and will never cease. The time of our mothers sparked legends, now it’s our turn to rule from the north to the fierce west. |
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| © Copyright 2007 rhia_5779 - All Rights Reserved | |||
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surf_painter Member
since 2007-04-10
Posts 434Canada |
i believe that both are fairly well written i however didn't like them as much as some of your other poems, i found the first didn't have enough description that was probably why you wrote the second one and i believe the second one's sentences were too long that the rhyms at the end of each weren't caught because you had too many words in between but that is just one opinion in many but they were still good poems |
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