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Teen Poetry #8
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nick_lyss
Member
since 2006-08-21
Posts 88


0 posted 2007-03-25 08:34 PM



The world is spinning around,seeing little spics of people in the corner of my eye.Flashbacks of you comes into my mind.chills run up and down my spine.goosebumps form all over my arms.Dazed inside my head.My fears have captivated me inside.I cant bare the lies that have pierced me inside so long Ive been beating myself inside up for so long for that I cant take it anymor. I hate you but I love you. I dont know what I want.

© Copyright 2007 nick_lyss - All Rights Reserved
pen&paper
Senior Member
since 2006-06-06
Posts 513

1 posted 2007-03-25 08:49 PM


The idea is good, but try adding SOME structure and spellcheck it.

Great job!


        pen

carter89
New Member
since 2007-04-10
Posts 5

2 posted 2007-04-10 01:51 AM


hey loved your poem and hopefully you'll write more happier poems in the future your friend carter89(one guess to who it iS , WHO OUT OF YOUR FRIEND LOVES THE CARTERS BEYOND ANYTHING ELSE ) casey
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