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Teen Poetry #8
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rhia_5779
Senior Member
since 2006-06-09
Posts 1334
California

0 posted 2007-02-14 05:07 PM


A science assigment write a poem about space.
Havent been on for too long. Soon as I Get the rest of my Hw finished tomorro all next week and tomorro poss starting I am gonna post my other stuff.

Nine planets dot the sky
thats beyond what we can touch.
Filled with myths we've proved right.
Myths of moons,worlds,stars and such.

Bursting balls of flame,
remanants of ancient stars
perserved till now,the same.
NOW we see,novas torn apart.

Our own little planet means nought
-except to us-figures haunting alien dreams.
One tiny fragment in the lot.
A single teardrop in an endless sea.



© Copyright 2007 rhia_5779 - All Rights Reserved
hunnie_girl
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2006-06-18
Posts 2567
Canada
1 posted 2007-02-14 08:41 PM


ahhh many planets i always hated learning them in school but happily I am done wioth that yah. I think your teacher will be impessed If I got this right you are gonna show your teacher right? hmmm but good good...
hunnie

~fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me~

stargal
Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352
OR USA
2 posted 2007-02-16 10:14 PM


It's rather hard to read, in some instances I feel like you are trying to rhyme and in others it is so... un-rhyme-like that I'm not sure.

I know it's just a homework assignment and might not mean that much to you but there is something in this poem and it could be better.

If you want me to say more I can or I'll just let this piece alone. lolz. I look forward as always to reading more of your work

"I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars." - Og Mandino            @-->---

rhia_5779
Senior Member
since 2006-06-09
Posts 1334
California
3 posted 2007-02-17 04:08 PM


Tell me more sure I'll add to it if theres anything to add

Ya i turned it in on fri

unholyjudgement
Member
since 2007-02-27
Posts 116
Wherever my soul takes me next
4 posted 2007-03-07 10:19 AM


"A single teardrop in an endless sea"
Love the perspective

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navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #8 » Myths that exist, history frozen in place, a tiny piece

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