navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #8 » Loving You
Teen Poetry #8
Post A Reply Post New Topic Loving You Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Amaya
Junior Member
since 2007-01-23
Posts 10
Mississippi

0 posted 2007-02-03 10:34 PM


I'm can't say,
How I started to fill this way
Everday,
I fill like I"m going insane.

Everytime I see you,
I never know what to do.
I used to want to die,
But now I'm just glad to be alive.

Knowing that you'll always be in my life.
This feeling inside,
I cannot hide.
No matter how hard I try.

I'm Loving You
You are Loving Me

I'll never be scared,
Knowing that you are forever near.
Always holding me so dear.
I once was ripped apart
But you fixed my aching heart
Hopefully it will stay together
Making our love last forever.

(Its not all together.But I think it is nice.I gave this to my ex before we broke up.)

Let me know when I'm finally apart of this group
So I won't be the one looking like a fool

© Copyright 2007 Amaya -age 16 - All Rights Reserved
buttercupbaby
Member
since 2006-05-03
Posts 400
outside in the rain
1 posted 2007-02-04 12:52 PM


[you were part of our group from the start hun!! but ill be the one to let you know..lol]

I liked it..the flow was definetely off in some places, but that didn't ruin the poem. It was nice. . .You might try [if you want to] editing it to make it flow better, if you'd want to re-do the poem.  You could make it longer and more detailed if you did that!!it's good the way it is, i was only suggesting that if you ever can't think of what to write, to re-write your old poems![its what i do..haha]
anyway, sorry about your ex, i know that's hard..

~missy
My tears of love are a waste of time if I turn away..
my love is a waste of time
if you never stay

hunnie_girl
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2006-06-18
Posts 2567
Canada
2 posted 2007-02-04 10:55 PM


The flow was really strong . And the feeling was even better. i really liked this...
hunnie

~fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me~

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #8 » Loving You

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary