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Teen Poetry #8
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lemonraindrops
Junior Member
since 2007-01-28
Posts 19


0 posted 2007-01-29 07:01 PM



Disguised as a Waitress



The same old dress, the same old shoes

Nothing exciting and no new news

She waits with a notepad for a woman to choose



Listening to the order she writes it all down

Gives a slight smile and turns back around

And on her face appears a small frown



She thinks to herself this can't be all

It can't be everything when it seems so small

Living a life on a shelf like a porcelain doll



She refills the coffee of a man nearby

And looks out the window wondering why

She's still here when there's much more to try



Refilling sugar and carrying trays

Couldn't be the life she would live all her days

She could go beyond this small town haze



Day after day it ran through her thoughts

When she spent her time in the back scrubbing pots

All the nights she'd stayed late to wring out the mops



There's more to the world she silently thinks

More than "Hello may I bring you some drinks"

More than paper orders all written in black ink



Cleaning a table with an old white rag

She looks down glumly at her plastic nametag

Unpinning it she sets it down next to a box of teabags



She takes a deep breath and picks up her purse

The thought had occurred but her actions a first

She whispers "Here I come world, for better or worse"



Elyse


© Copyright 2007 lemonraindrops - All Rights Reserved
icequeen
Senior Member
since 2001-12-09
Posts 633
FL USA
1 posted 2007-01-29 07:20 PM


I love it! One of my favorite pieces of your work.

Having been a waitress for several years when I was young, I know the feeling well. Some nights it was just UGH there has to be something more out there... and there was! Of course, where would we be though, without all of those lovely waitresses who never forget an order, always remembers her customers names and favorite desserts, and gives impeccable service? Thankfully there are still those who love waitressing and make going out for a meal or a drink a fun experience... remember the Pizza Hut waitress? There ya go!
Hugs~~~~
Caroline

He who wants a rose must respect the thorn.
- Persian Proverb

hunnie_girl
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2006-06-18
Posts 2567
Canada
2 posted 2007-01-30 12:00 PM


Wow I love ur poems they are amazing as was this one. i love it
hunnie

~fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me~

lemonraindrops
Junior Member
since 2007-01-28
Posts 19

3 posted 2007-01-30 09:55 PM


Thanks you's all around! <3
the_girl_next_door
Senior Member
since 2006-02-26
Posts 591
USA
4 posted 2007-01-30 10:47 PM


wow.. another great piece. I can't really relate, i've never been a waitress but I like the view from this.. great job

~heather~

Desire nothing except desirelessness. Hope for nothing except to rise above all hopes.
Want nothing & you will have everything.

lemonraindrops
Junior Member
since 2007-01-28
Posts 19

5 posted 2007-01-31 09:44 PM


Thank ya! <3

"I've got a jar of dirrr-rrt! I've got a jar of dirrr-rrt! And do you know what's IN my jar of dirt?"
-Captain Jack Sparrow(Johnny Depp)POTC2

stargal
Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352
OR USA
7 posted 2007-02-01 07:40 PM


Hey,

I don't really have anything to say that hasn't been said but I did want to tell you that I really enjoyed this poem. I keep reading and re-reading and I'm still amazed at how beautiful this is.

Thank you for sharing

"I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars." - Og Mandino            @-->---

buttercupbaby
Member
since 2006-05-03
Posts 400
outside in the rain
8 posted 2007-02-03 12:06 PM


WOW! i really loved this! [i have to say it made me cry..im really not sure why! strange isn't it?]

anyway, it was the first poem i read of your's, and now you will be a poet in my library!:] i truly enjoyed this..it was a nice "pick me up" it was really good..and you never went off flow! it just went so perfectly smooth! AWESOME!! !! !!

:} can you tell i really liked it?hah..anyway, there's nothing i could say that actually is of importance here but saying i really liked it..which ive said, so that is all!

nice write!

~missy
My tears of love are a waste of time if I turn away..
my love is a waste of time
if you never stay

thinktwice
Member
since 2003-12-23
Posts 125
United States
9 posted 2007-02-03 04:42 PM


Well written, very descriptive.

Awesome.

Amaya
Junior Member
since 2007-01-23
Posts 10
Mississippi
10 posted 2007-02-03 11:17 PM


OMG.  I loved it.  I never seen a poem like this before. I loved the way you rhymed the lines and the flow was great.  Teach me your ways. Let me be your pupil.

Let me know when I'm finally apart of this group
So I won't be the one looking like a fool

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