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Teen Poetry #8
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lemonraindrops
Junior Member
since 2007-01-28
Posts 19


0 posted 2007-01-29 06:59 PM


Door Number One



Spent my whole life

Choosing door number three

Results good enough

So far as I could see

Never took a chance

To open a new door

Saw two more options

But chose to ignore

Blinded by prizes

In turn were all fake

But I was to stupid

To fix my mistake

Quick glance around

Door one and door two

There for so long

Never hidden from view

Again on this stage

Faced with decision

I hear from afar

Some sort of collision

And door number two

Slammed and locked tight

Hiding its contents

Forever from sight

Clocks tick loudly

Losing time to decide

Quickly now quickly

Or another endless ride

Close my eyes slowly

Speak the number aloud

A drum roll please

A roar from the crowd

A brand new journey

A life just begun

Let's see what's behind

Door number one



Elyse


© Copyright 2007 lemonraindrops - All Rights Reserved
icequeen
Senior Member
since 2001-12-09
Posts 633
FL USA
1 posted 2007-01-29 07:40 PM


Yeah you know I love this one because it is you! You're always willing to open those new doors and see what they hold!

Ok I'm off to the other forums where I post (once a year or so LOL) and do some reading there ~~ check your inbox I left you a message when I saw you were online!

Love ya
Caroline

He who wants a rose must respect the thorn.
- Persian Proverb

lemonraindrops
Junior Member
since 2007-01-28
Posts 19

2 posted 2007-01-30 09:58 PM


Ooh thankies!!
rhia_5779
Senior Member
since 2006-06-09
Posts 1334
California
3 posted 2007-01-31 02:24 PM


Tell the reader a bit more about whats in the doors make it solid. Right now its bits and pieces here and there. Try tying it up more.
whitelielovely
Member
since 2006-12-11
Posts 146
Australia
5 posted 2007-02-03 08:10 PM


I like the idea of this door Lemon. Of these doors acually. Reminds me of dreams, but how stupid does that sound?

Well, anyways, it was lovely.

-Whitt

Love is never foolish- and if it is, it is a Divine Foolishness.

-Sir Gawain

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navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #8 » Door Number One

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