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Teen Poetry #8

my weakness

um_idk
Junior Member

since 2006-09-27

Posts 32
minnesota

0 posted 2007-01-25 02:25 AM

you look in my eyes
and no when i tell lies
you see the blood
my eyes begin to flood
like this you souldnt see me
so just listen and let me be
i tryed so hard to fight
but the grip was so tight
i thought i was invinsable
i thought i was untouchable
they let me choose
to leave or lose
they fond my weakness
and they use this
they no the people i be close to
so i leave for all of you

yea if that makes sense kinda mad but be honest

forever*wishing
Member

since 2006-05-29

Posts 178
where my heart is

1 posted 2007-01-25 08:45 PM

well, the only thing i noticed was 'know' was spelled 'no' twice, but i guess that could just be a style of writing...?
other than that, i liked it =)

hunnie_girl

Member Elite

since 2006-06-18

Posts 2567
Canada

2 posted 2007-01-25 11:18 PM

I reall think that having spelling errors that are minor but so easy to notice take away from the writing and this poem was good, so even the minor things, well it made me kinda concentrate on them instead. good poem though and the words inside the poem...
hunnie

~fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me~

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