navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #8 » Awww Mum
Teen Poetry #8
Post A Reply Post New Topic Awww Mum Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Fairplay
Member
since 2007-01-15
Posts 222
England

0 posted 2007-01-15 11:29 PM


Life as a teen can be quite obscene
Sponging off old mum and dad
It wasn’t the same
I knew the game
Even when I was a lad

Life in the “Old Days” when everyone pays
Or else it’s a clip round the lug
The whole world I’d seen
When I was a teen
See I wasn’t a mug

Nothing is free for you or for me
So might as well make your own fun
Don’t sit and groan
Be left on your own
With nowhere to run


© Copyright 2007 Eric Lance Davies - All Rights Reserved
hunnie_girl
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2006-06-18
Posts 2567
Canada
1 posted 2007-01-16 12:01 PM


Welcome to Passions i hope you like it here... I liked this but my favorite was the last Stanza,  i feel that was the strong point...
hunnie

~fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me~

ivordavies
Senior Member
since 2007-01-10
Posts 739
Chester, England
2 posted 2007-01-16 03:20 AM


Life as a Teen can be quite obscene
depending which school you attended
I know just like you, I found it was true
that the least said would then soonest mend.

But I was quite quiet, while you was a riot,
an angel, not devil like you.
The same has applied to the rest of my ride,
like brothers in all that we do.

So welcome to pip, I've been here bit,
near to a week I should think.
The natives I fear all quickly appear
when finding your words on their link.

But do not despair, for some seem to care
and will actually critique your rhyme.
From what I have seen, even the 'obscene'
may get a small comment with time.

With a 'clip round the lug'
or a smiley great hug
the folk here seem friendly enough.
And some even rhyme
so given some time
They may all join our wonderful bug!

The moment created this second, is a  moment that's going to last.
It lives the full spectrum of time, the future, the present and past.

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #8 » Awww Mum

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary