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Teen Poetry #8
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whitelielovely
Member
since 2006-12-11
Posts 146
Australia

0 posted 2007-01-08 07:13 PM


You have to learn to tell my truths from my few lies
You think I’m faking so I’ll shut up and close my eyes
I’m tired of being whoever everyone thinks i should
I’m tired of breaking so now I chose to hide my face

You too much – I don’t get you was I meant to be here for your selfish reasons?
The old man pulling on strings is playing my life all wrong and twisted
But for now I have to be a puppet completely out of control
I hate those stupid stupid instances that life decides to use me for


"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it
everyday."

Noelle - age 7

[This message has been edited by whitelielovely (01-09-2007 04:54 PM).]

© Copyright 2007 Whittney Larraine Lovely - All Rights Reserved
rhia_5779
Senior Member
since 2006-06-09
Posts 1334
California
1 posted 2007-01-09 03:59 PM


THE ryhming is really forced in this. I say kill the rhyme and free verse this
rhia_5779
Senior Member
since 2006-06-09
Posts 1334
California
2 posted 2007-01-09 04:01 PM


THE ryhming is really forced in this. I say kill the rhyme and free verse this
whitelielovely
Member
since 2006-12-11
Posts 146
Australia
3 posted 2007-01-09 04:54 PM


is that better

"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it
everyday."

Noelle - age 7

rhia_5779
Senior Member
since 2006-06-09
Posts 1334
California
4 posted 2007-01-12 03:39 PM


yes with ryhme but try ending it a little more concrete.
RenaissanceRomanceRunsRed
Senior Member
since 2007-06-11
Posts 1062
In Love <3
5 posted 2007-06-23 10:00 PM


lovely my dear, i liked it, simple, easy to rememeber.

-Red

and if i had to choose between the whole world and you- there would be no competition

-Amanda Ann (my best friend)

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