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Teen Poetry #8
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their love
| Teen Poetry #8 |
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their love |
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buttercupbaby Member
since 2006-05-03
Posts 400outside in the rain 
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sorry y'all, this isn't as good as i wanted it to be. I wrote the whole thing out on here, then clicked post, and i realized i hadn't put a title, so i had to try and re-write it.....annnd it didn't turn out as good as the first one. this always happens to me! cause i always forget to save my poems!=[ oh well, i hope you still enjoy it[as much as possible..] running from something unseen only their hearts feel the need to grieve. never stopping until it's gone their hearts keep going till it is fully achieved. but the clock won't tick fast enough for the heart to make it, so they're never relieved. they would never know this unbearable pain if they had trusted God, for once truly believed! but they don't know it until it's done all along they were just decieved! young girls keep giving their hearts away if only for good they weren't so naive! stop this madness once and for all! don't let their hearts be taken and theived! they won't ever feel the wonderful love they would feel if they'd only percieved, that once it's over and they are done with they will cry and stay up every eve. help out young girl's and warn them they will be love-deprived! cause after he's gone, we're all just bereaved. ~missy My tears of love are a waste of time if I turn away.. my love is a waste of time if you never stay |
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| © Copyright 2006 Marisa F - All Rights Reserved | |||
hunnie_girl
since 2006-06-18
Posts 2567Canada |
young girls keep giving their hearts away if only for good they weren't so naive!~ Very good, this was a little patchy in some places, but other than that is was good. i liked the thought of this poem. and i do that all the time to, but i just save it on notepad now  Merry christams,hunnie  ~fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me~ |
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nick_lyss Member
since 2006-08-21
Posts 88 |
hey missy. this was a good poem. how have u been. |
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rhia_5779 Senior Member
since 2006-06-09
Posts 1334California |
It needs alittle work in rythmn and some of it is unclear in places what you mean to say. young girls keep giving their hearts away if only for good they weren't so naive! good for instance |
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