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Teen Poetry #8
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electricxheart
Member
since 2004-09-05
Posts 184
far away from home.

0 posted 2006-12-14 09:16 PM



my curves never invited you inside
a fire burning within my heart
being unaware of these
solid emotions resting in and
underneath my flesh
it becomes a quest as we face
these struggles
head on
and why can’t i breathe
why can’t i believe in anything
other then your lying lips
which i’ve never even kissed
and my attachment to you
is becoming a hit or miss
(i’m sorry,
i’m sorry)
for making things so complicated
(you never knew,
you never knew)
how all of this hidden modesty
would affect you
solid emotions resting in and
underneath my flesh
it becomes a quest as we face
these struggles
head on
and i’m dying to say so long,
because i know soon
you’ll be gone,
leaving with the winter’s stillness,
a heavy heart in all
its fullness

© Copyright 2006 Kelly Landis - All Rights Reserved
stargal
Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352
OR USA
1 posted 2006-12-19 01:38 PM


"and i’m dying to say so long,
because i know soon
you’ll be gone,
leaving with the winter’s stillness,
a heavy heart in all
its fullness


Beautiful ending goes out on a strong note that I like in this poem, the start was amazing too.

I admit that I didn't feel like I understood all of this but what I did understand I liked. It feels like there's a deeper meaning in this poem I'm missing, I just can't figure out what it is...

Thanks for sharing this piece; it was an enjoyable poem for me to read

"I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars." - Og Mandino            @-->---

skoolyardturtle
Member
since 2005-06-28
Posts 96

2 posted 2007-01-03 02:00 AM


yeah i agree.  great stuff.  Good imagery.
tapper798
Member
since 2003-07-20
Posts 353
My own world
3 posted 2007-01-03 04:54 PM


Normally with your poetry I have a hard time understand it. Call me simple but because it doesn't rhyme I get lost lol But this one, maybe cause I can relate, you explained this feeling so well with these lines:

why can’t i believe in anything
other then your lying lips
which i’ve never even kissed
and my attachment to you
is becoming a hit or miss


Loved this. Keep it up!

AIM-beatufu1tragidy

Tell me what you think about being open, about being honest with yourself.

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