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Teen Poetry #8
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whitelielovely
Member
since 2006-12-11
Posts 146
Australia

0 posted 2006-12-11 08:29 PM


It was way to underly-overdramatic
The way you held yourself
Not ever enough of you,
I took too little too soon

I want out of this way of living
Never going to the one I need
Your not what I though I knew
Because I thought I was like you

I guess time was right had to be
I never knew the sun to shine like that
It touched my pale self on my way out
The only way I was to see without doubt

It was way to underly-overdramatic
That way we both suddenly reacted
So we'll talk 'bout the day that one
Where nothing made sense but fun

You make me cry to see my eyes
Shimmer with tears already shed
You make me die inside with hurt forbidden
Just to with your hand, make me live again

It was way to underly-overdramatic
The time I saw in me that went away
Writing away to see the pain move slow
Paper remember, so I can let it go

I wanted lovely times and "A Someone"
But I made mistakes sometimes the worst
Mending these brought only worst pain then,
When I realized it wouldnt erase my pen


[This message has been edited by whitelielovely (12-13-2006 12:30 PM).]

© Copyright 2006 Whittney Larraine Lovely - All Rights Reserved
hunnie_girl
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Member Elite
since 2006-06-18
Posts 2567
Canada
1 posted 2006-12-13 12:38 PM


I want out of this way of living
Never going to the one I need
Your not what I though I knew
Because I thought I was like you~
my favorite stanza it stood out nicely to me although there was some grammar errors and stuff in it, it was good.... but the last line i wasn't too sure on was there a mistake in that line? cuz it didn't make sense... Welcome to Passions i hope to read more poems....
hunnie

~fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me~

whitelielovely
Member
since 2006-12-11
Posts 146
Australia
2 posted 2006-12-13 12:13 PM


well yeah, i'll fix that i just noticed it i'll fix it. thank you hunnie!

-Lovely

hunnie_girl
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Member Elite
since 2006-06-18
Posts 2567
Canada
3 posted 2006-12-15 12:26 PM


that is better
hunnie

~fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me~

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