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Teen Poetry #8
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Watched me fall
| Teen Poetry #8 |
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Watched me fall |
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hunnie_girl
since 2006-06-18
Posts 2567Canada |
Watched me fall hunnie Thoughts of how we used to be, forcefully crashing down on me, so different now this is what I see, what we used to be, a family, on my own I am the outcast, the one I feel, always being put last, those old memories fly by so fast, but I know they only belong in the past, dreading tomorrow and what is yet to come, I'm dancing alone to a different drum, you might think i'm wrapped around your thumb, not once did you care if that made me feel dumb, but that is but, beneath us all, you watched me die, you watched me fall. Better a witty fool than a foolish wit. - Shakespeare |
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| © Copyright 2006 Krysti - All Rights Reserved | |||
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yvetters_24 Member
since 2006-08-27
Posts 52california |
i really like this and i can so relate to what you are saying i just wrote somthing similar to this but i really like ur wirting |
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tapper798 Member
since 2003-07-20
Posts 353My own world |
Only critique would be to have 4 lines in the last stanza, just because it doesn't match the flow on the rest of it. Good job though! AIM-beatufu1tragidy |
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MixedChica Junior Member
since 2006-11-10
Posts 34 |
The truth is, its really good. And suprizingly i don't mind that the last stanza is one 2 lines long, it flows less well but it doesn't bother me that much |
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pencil&paper Member
since 2006-09-09
Posts 76asleep somewhere in my head |
i like this poem it's really good i also really like your poems in general you're great poet and i'm glad you post your poems so we can read them  "Those who danced were thought to be quite insane by those who could not hear the music."~Angela Monet |
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hunnie_girl
since 2006-06-18
Posts 2567Canada |
thanks, everyone for your replies hunnie  Better a witty fool than a foolish wit. |
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