Sell Your Soul - pipTalk Forums

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

Teen Poetry #8

Sell Your Soul

Tempest
Member

since 2006-04-28

Posts 247
dont eat paint chips!!!!

0 posted 2006-11-21 10:13 PM

these are the sad results
of a life now past
the ship is sinking
its going down fast
the waters cold
the screams ring dull
echoing through the air
and receeding back to me
i hear it all so fast
as its happening

these are the long lost hopes
of a battered soul
a desprate scream full and whole
all i ask is.....
why sell our soul

rhia_5779
Senior Member

since 2006-06-09

Posts 1334
California

1 posted 2006-11-22 03:40 PM

Good ending. THe first stanza needs work. It all needs a bit more background. We don't know whats going on at all till the last stanza.

Don't make us guess. I also have a splitting headache, am tired and have two essays one of which due in two days that I'm stuck in , so please don't make my poor old mind actually work and decode this.
PUt more of a body in. I will write you a poem and be grateful if you just make it more self explanatory other wise I 'll have to try and decode the first stanza so I have a clue what you mean before the lst bit.

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.