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Teen Poetry #8
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Hard To Breathe
| Teen Poetry #8 |
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Hard To Breathe |
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WaterFairy103 Member
since 2006-05-31
Posts 196 |
When we watch TV on the couch, And I put my head on your shoulder. You put your arm around me, Then use my legs as your personal cup holder. Or when we're eating dinner at the table, You're talking to your dad, ignoring me. Then without stopping to think about it, You put your hand up high on my knee. It's little moments in time like that, When I think "This is how it should be." When you look at me with love in your eyes, It's moments like that when it's hard to breathe. When I fall asleep during play rehearsal, And instead of waking me up. You wait til we're done, ready to go, And you pick me up and carry me out. When my feet are freezing cold, And you don't care one tiny bit. You just pull them into your warm lap, And rub them while we sit. It's tiny snippets of time like that, Slow, poignant and unbearably sweet. When my love for you crushes my chest, It's times like that that make it hard to breathe. When I stopped trying find the right guy, and concentrated on being the right girl, the right guy found me. |
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| © Copyright 2006 Kelsey Dianne - All Rights Reserved | |||
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rhia_5779 Senior Member
since 2006-06-09
Posts 1334California |
I like the contrast of not caring and love but it almost is too much. See if you can make that not so neon. |
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hunnie_girl
since 2006-06-18
Posts 2567Canada |
Kelsey, this was very good i liked the flow...my favorite stanza is: It's little moments in time like that, When I think "This is how it should be." When you look at me with love in your eyes, It's moments like that when it's hard to breathe. good write, hunnie  A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war and a time for peace ~Ecclesiastes 3:8~ |
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