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Teen Poetry #8
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Holy Cross
| Teen Poetry #8 |
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Holy Cross |
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Tempest Member
since 2006-04-28
Posts 247dont eat paint chips!!!! 
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standing in the field of crosses im looking at all the sins so many faces filled with pain it makes you wish the end eyes like clouds in a foggy day the feeling of a life now burned away drained of every ounce of hope, and drowning for a hand to hold just please,pull me away from the dead and cold hair matted to a bloody face i cant go on, i havent slept in days i hear those words, yet i dont understand i can only clutch my heart in my hand i couldnt believe you just let me choke now im stuck with the life you broke i can feel it in the ground, and in my very breath my life is jumbled into a cold dark mess im sorry, i have failed ive let my faith go completly stale i cant redeem the blood ive lost i cant retrieve that holy cross |
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| © Copyright 2006 Bryan Girton - All Rights Reserved | |||
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RevengeIsMine Senior Member
since 2006-07-08
Posts 820Australia |
Its amazing how u take words from my mouth everytime u write. Once again another great post. Trust me , u aint leaving this place any time soon |
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Free_Spirit07 Member
since 2006-01-29
Posts 222The middle of my mind! |
Hey there dude, I think maybe I see a different side to this poem, a side that blames your hurt and pain on God. I feel sad that you shall feel this way, God knows what He is doing, He has already got a great plan, all we are asked to do is walk the path we are in, and ask Him for his hand, so he can lead us, so He can help us, comfort us, so He can be His everything. Chin up, the worse is still yet to come. And the trials you are going through now are just making you stronger for the rest of your life. Okay, im random I know, and SUCH a hipocrite right now  . Good job though, see ya round!x0x0 |
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Tempest Member
since 2006-04-28
Posts 247dont eat paint chips!!!! |
hey im not sayin this to be mean or anything but god was the furthest thought from my mind as i was writing this piece. i was actually thinking about something else. im VERY athiest. |
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rhia_5779 Senior Member
since 2006-06-09
Posts 1334California |
Brian im gonna kill u but then I could read ur poems. You are so good. Im doing so bad right now. I cannot write. I have one I am working on but its not getting anywhere till my sister (who is professional writer) gets a chance to crittique it. So it is suitable to post. Its really prosey . FAntablous write. Punctuation but good imagery as always and beautiful use of words as always too. Wish i had half the talent you had, so unfair. Off to be all sick with the stupid flu and pout. and write a story |
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Clockwork_Orange Senior Member
since 2007-03-23
Posts 620Space Camp, IN |
boosting. |
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surf_painter Member
since 2007-04-10
Posts 434Canada |
i liked this poem as i like most of your poems it was another fabulous write |
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Gifted Member
since 2007-06-26
Posts 140Caribbean |
Yes, this is another teenage literature. So I can relate to you. Nice peace, yet I did not like it as much as the previous ones I read. |
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Clockwork_Orange Senior Member
since 2007-03-23
Posts 620Space Camp, IN |
free_spirit........i have to say.......i dont agree with you.........im with temp, only im not athiest. i just hate god. you can hate me for it but i dont care. i am who i am. |
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Clockwork_Orange Senior Member
since 2007-03-23
Posts 620Space Camp, IN |
well not really agreeing with temp, idk... |
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tearsoflove13762 Member
since 2004-09-05
Posts 488Texas.. and yes i have an accent |
I also thought you were refering to God in this poem and after reading the comments I re-read it trying to figure out where you were coming from but cannot understand. However, it is a great write and flowed very well and although i am not taking it the same way you meant it to be read it spoke to me. -Laura |
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BrittanyJ Member
since 2007-06-03
Posts 461Come find me? |
I agree with free_spirit. Although god hasn't really been showing himself in my life lately, there are times when i know He has to be there. And i am definantly not the one to preach to any of you, my life is not even close to perfect...but Clockwork, that's too bad that you hate Him. I really liked the poem Temp  I wish you hadn't got kicked off!!So no more hiding all your pain, you deserve a new start. That's why i'm closing myself away, this is a message from your heart. |
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