Putting walls around the heart

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Teen Poetry #8

Putting walls around the heart

aliway
Member

since 2006-03-05

Posts 185
With in your eyes

0 posted 2006-10-30 11:21 PM

wow I haven’t posted for a long time, well I’m back and here’s the poem that had me on hold for so long being I just didn’t know how to word it and I still don’t know if the words are right but oh well.

I feel so venerable, weak, helpless as could be
knowing ever one knows this could be me
I thought I could open up and let them see
hoping they could help in this hour of doubt
but they never really saw
they just threw it back in my face
saying that to bad now what else is new
just like that not another word is said
I wanted to cry having them hold me tight
but that has past when they confided in me

So I’m sick have showing my emotions
to those people who don’t really care
I want to hide them bury them burn them
so all can think I’m ok but really I’m bleeding with in
so I’m putting on this mask
that I thought would never be again
to hide all my fear my pains my tears
so no one can hurt me in such a way
now I’m going be that cold hearted person
that I never wanted to be

The love you cant have lasts the longest, feels the strongest, and hurts the most

rhia_5779
Senior Member

since 2006-06-09

Posts 1334
California

1 posted 2006-10-31 05:16 PM

This needs alot of work, punctuation and it needs organization of thought. It was really jumbled. Try writing it out in prose and then putting it in poem form. It will organize it better.

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