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Teen Poetry #8
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RevengeIsMine
Senior Member
since 2006-07-08
Posts 820
Australia

0 posted 2006-10-25 11:31 PM



A Promise I May Never Keep


I’ve seen the tears you’ve cried of bliss,
I’ve seen the smile that is now sadly missed.
It’s like you have lived below the land.
And now you’ve returned with blood on your hands

I want to hold you tight all night
And promise you that everything will be all right.
I pray that everything will change at this instance
And then the world will see your smile shining in the distance.

I feel the need to protect you, every second in the day
But when you get close to me I don’t know what to say.
If you could believe in your tears just like I wish I could do
Then maybe you won’t continue to hurt like me too.

I promise to pick you up wherever you may fall
Because I know it won’t be long til the devil begins its call.
I’ll wipe your tears just like a big sister should
And put you to bed just like mum would.

I promise mum won’t die today,
I promise she will live,
And when my heart stops beating then may the angels come
May they take me to heaven where I can watch over you my little brother whilst you take care of mum.


I promise you, mum wont die today………………
I Will Die Instead


© Copyright 2006 A Typical Aussie Chick - All Rights Reserved
rhia_5779
Senior Member
since 2006-06-09
Posts 1334
California
1 posted 2006-10-26 11:20 AM


Soo good, wow that touched me.
hunnie_girl
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2006-06-18
Posts 2567
Canada
2 posted 2006-10-28 12:09 PM


I feel the need to protect you, every second in the day
But when you get close to me I don’t know what to say.
If you could believe in your tears just like I wish I could do
Then maybe you won’t continue to hurt like me too.

this i feel really added much feeling to the poem... good write.
hunnie*

A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war and a time for peace   ~Ecclesiastes 3:8~

Tempest
Member
since 2006-04-28
Posts 247
dont eat paint chips!!!!
3 posted 2006-11-03 08:50 PM


very deep. i love this. i really feel what you felt during this cuz of the feeling in it. love it!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tempest
Member
since 2006-04-28
Posts 247
dont eat paint chips!!!!
4 posted 2006-11-18 09:08 PM


im boosting this to the top cuz it needs more comments.
Clockwork_Orange
Senior Member
since 2007-03-23
Posts 620
Space Camp, IN
5 posted 2007-06-24 01:48 PM


im going with tempest again on this one. im boosting for more comments.
surf_painter
Member
since 2007-04-10
Posts 434
Canada
6 posted 2007-06-26 07:11 PM


wow sad i liked it good job
Gifted
Member
since 2007-06-26
Posts 140
Caribbean
7 posted 2007-06-26 08:00 PM


The beggining flowed nicely, but somewhere drawing nearer to the end the flow left.  What happened?  It kinda made me sad.
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