navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #8 » Voices Of The Past
Teen Poetry #8
Post A Reply Post New Topic Voices Of The Past Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Tempest
Member
since 2006-04-28
Posts 247
dont eat paint chips!!!!

0 posted 2006-10-23 07:24 PM



softly spoken
in a voice of regret
the wishes and wills
i cant forget

filled with sorrow
from a long lost hope
im falling through the void
with no way to cope

testing whats real
breaking the faith
asking yourself
was it worth the wait

did you really mean
what you just said
the words are stuck
lingering in my head

all i want
is the broken truth
because im lost
and dont know what to do

the feelings i felt
i knew wouldnt last
but i can still hear
the voices of the past

This is the only life you have, so live it to be remembered

© Copyright 2006 Bryan Girton - All Rights Reserved
Renegade
Junior Member
since 2006-10-21
Posts 22

1 posted 2006-10-23 08:28 PM


i read another of your recent posts and this sounds so familiar *wink wink*
Once again some rhythym and i want to see you write some other types of poems most of them normally are about the same thing

but you are able to weave words together perfectly

Simply im saying use some of your excellent creativity and have happy poems or i would honestly like to see some narrative poems

hunnie_girl
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2006-06-18
Posts 2567
Canada
2 posted 2006-10-24 12:30 PM


the feelings i felt,
i knew wouldnt last,
but i can still hear,
the voices of the past,

beautiful, my favorite stanza nice end to the poem it fit hand in hand.  you are a truly amazing writer, in other words if you stop writing i'll get jessica to slap you while your over there slapping her. jk but be careful i might haha...
hunnie*

A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war and a time for peace   ~Ecclesiastes 3:8~

rhia_5779
Senior Member
since 2006-06-09
Posts 1334
California
3 posted 2006-10-24 09:22 AM


whose jessica.? and nice poem. but punctuation, put apostrophes in where they are need and some structure and

and dont know what to do


*take away the and

I would also like to see you writing other things


Tempest
Member
since 2006-04-28
Posts 247
dont eat paint chips!!!!
4 posted 2006-10-25 06:25 PM


thanks hunnie your comment made me laugh. i havent laughed for a while it felt good. thanks again
                    ~Tempest~

RevengeIsMine
Senior Member
since 2006-07-08
Posts 820
Australia
5 posted 2006-10-30 06:07 AM


I didnt read the slapping comment til know..
Its alright Temp, Ill come ova and smack ur bum anyday, who knows u might enjoy it LOLZ...

Tempest
Member
since 2006-04-28
Posts 247
dont eat paint chips!!!!
6 posted 2006-10-30 07:03 AM


you know its true^-^

This is the only life you have, so live it to be remembered

Belinda
Member
since 2006-01-30
Posts 126
UK
7 posted 2006-10-30 07:11 AM


Love It !! Really good.. I've read a few of your pieces and am very impressed

Good write .. keept it up ..Love to hear more !!

Belinda~x

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #8 » Voices Of The Past

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary