navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #8 » MBA thing
Teen Poetry #8
Post A Reply Post New Topic MBA thing Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Xeonox
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-04-01
Posts 1764
CA, USA

0 posted 2006-10-22 03:13 PM



Listen for a minute,
I met this girl in school,
She is about 5’2,
Head to toe beautiful,

I am starting to catch some feelings,
But I have been there before,
I don’t want to rush this,
The pain from last time, I don’t want anymore,

She has her cute things, that make me smile,
It makes me happy, as if I was a little child,
Like when we are talking on the phone,
Late at night, reminiscing about the day and all our wishes,

She often says I make things complicated,
I argue with her, just to picture her getting irritated,
But all in all I enjoy spending time wit her,
Whether she is the one or not,
For now, I’ll continue seeing her.

I speak insanity. I write fantasy. I sleep reality.

© Copyright 2006 Ronil B Tataria - All Rights Reserved
patience_iago
Member
since 2006-08-30
Posts 54

1 posted 2006-10-22 03:18 PM


I liked this all, except for the last line, it felt completley out of place to me.

"There are some days where i believe i might die of an overdose of satisfaction"
-Dali

hunnie_girl
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2006-06-18
Posts 2567
Canada
2 posted 2006-10-24 12:05 PM


yea the last line did sound kind of out of place but i thought the whole poem was nicely written and very happy sounding...
hunnie*

A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war and a time for peace   ~Ecclesiastes 3:8~

PoetrySinger
Member
since 2006-10-16
Posts 54

3 posted 2006-10-24 10:31 AM


like hunnie said the last line did sound out of place but I hope u get your chance to feel loves grace


stargal
Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352
OR USA
4 posted 2006-10-26 12:24 PM


Well, I kind of didn't like this one as well as some of your other poems.

It does sound like your happy in this poem and I like how the reader is able to get that from your words.

The last line? I actually kind of liked the idea of it. It's almost, for me, saying that I'll continue on with you but if you turn out like the others I'm walking, if that makes sense?

Thanks for sharing this piece, it's always enjoyable to read your work

"I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars." - Og Mandino            @-->---

stargal
Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352
OR USA
5 posted 2006-10-26 12:25 PM


Umm, sorry, one last thought, what is an MBA thing? Am I missing something, cause I'm rather dense?

"I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars." - Og Mandino            @-->---

rhia_5779
Senior Member
since 2006-06-09
Posts 1334
California
6 posted 2006-10-26 11:19 AM


Isn't MBA , mens basketball association??
stargal
Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352
OR USA
7 posted 2006-10-27 12:48 PM


Possible idea rhia but I was thinking a title should have more to do with the poem, so I thought maybe "MBA" could mean something more?

"I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars." - Og Mandino            @-->---

Xeonox
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-04-01
Posts 1764
CA, USA
8 posted 2006-10-27 10:30 AM


Hint: MBA could mean a post graduate degree????

I speak insanity. I write fantasy. I sleep reality.

buttercupbaby
Member
since 2006-05-03
Posts 400
outside in the rain
9 posted 2006-10-27 11:03 AM


i don't like this as much as your other poems either...but i can tell you wrote this and you were happy! its really a cute poem..im a little bit confused on the "MBA" thing too...i admit when i clicked to read it i thought it was gonna be a poem about basketball! ha...nice write anyway=]
stargal
Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352
OR USA
10 posted 2006-10-27 11:13 AM


That makes more sense because you said in the poem you met her at school.

MBA =  Masters of Business Administration?

Well, it does even if your "MBA" doesn't

"I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars." - Og Mandino            @-->---

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #8 » MBA thing

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary