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Teen Poetry #8
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rhia_5779
Senior Member
since 2006-06-09
Posts 1334
California

0 posted 2006-10-21 05:34 PM


I don't know if this is teen or not. This needs serious help though.
Suggestions?

()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()
Bold ink spots formed to make intricate shapes
standing out on the flatness of a metal shell.
Jumbled words mixed with a bucket of feelings
let symbols carrying false clarity line the screen.

A stretched thin line hops from emblem to emblem.
Disappearing in an instant. Reappearing beside one conveyed tone.
Boring monosyllable sectors before the message.
Pre-crafting the images that erupt into mind.

Molding wavelengths of thought to one creation.
Concluding an idea to its finality. Birthing
hopes and pointless wishes, kindling to flame.
Closing a completed chapter to stain in ink a new page.

Text messaged into play, tiny little figures with imprinted smiles
jump out at wrinkled eyes. Trying to put emphasis
on written words. Just make it harder to truly realize
the outline of the plan. Almost emotionless,
A text message.



[This message has been edited by rhia_5779 (10-22-2006 07:41 AM).]

© Copyright 2006 rhia_5779 - All Rights Reserved
tapper798
Member
since 2003-07-20
Posts 353
My own world
1 posted 2006-10-21 10:25 PM


Birthing
hopes and pointless wishes, kindling to flame.
Closing a completed chapter to stain in ink a new page.

my favorite part. I liked this, idk but it almost seemed too caught up in describing it that it left little emotion. It's a neat concept though, a good reminder that poetry can come from just about anything

AIM-beatufu1tragidy

Tell me what you think about being open, about being honest with yourself.

rhia_5779
Senior Member
since 2006-06-09
Posts 1334
California
2 posted 2006-10-22 07:42 AM


wasnt sopposed to have alot of emotion

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